Woman Keeping Pregnancy 'Secret' Until Sister-in-Law's Baby Shower Dragged
A woman who hid her pregnancy from friends and family has been blasted for showing up to her sister-in-law's baby shower—while eight months pregnant—where she experienced false labor and alerted everyone to her big news.
Reddit users have criticized user u/HelloCheese12 after she posted on the platform asking 'AITA [Am I The A******] for hiding my pregnancy and showing up to [sister-in-law's] baby shower."
The poster said she is eight months pregnant and had hidden her pregnancy up until now. She had suffered pregnancy complications a few years prior, which led to her delivering a stillborn at 25 weeks. This experience prompted her to be more "cautious and secretive" with her current pregnancy.
The 23-year-old wrote on Reddit: "We were hesitant on me going, I was just going to send my husband with a gift of mine, but [sister-in-law] said she really wanted me there. I decided to try my best to hide the bump and go."
Unfortunately, while at the baby shower, the poster "started having tiny cramps, that eventually got more aggressive."
"I told my husband we need to leave, I need to go to the hospital. As we were walking, a sharp pain hit me and I grabbed the picnic table next to me and almost stumbled over, causing attention to myself. I really thought I was in labor, the pains were getting so intense."
False labor, also known as Braxton Hicks contractions, is considered the body's way of preparing for the real thing. WebMD suggests that dehydration is a common trigger for Braxton Hicks, as well as the fetus moving in the womb.
However, they should stop if the woman changes activity or walks around, but any concerns should be addressed by a doctor or midwife.
The couple did exactly that as they left the event and rushed to the hospital where they were told it was false labor. The emotional toll remained though, as the family was shocked that they could keep the pregnancy a secret all this time, only to make a scene at someone else's baby shower.
The original poster continued: "My husband and I both had angry text messages from [sister-in-law] and other guests at the party about us hiding the pregnancy, how messed up it was, and how they couldn't believe I showed up pregnant and was secret about it. How I had a baby stunt at someone else's shower."
While this certainly wasn't the way the poster wanted her friends and family to find out that she's expecting, there are valid reasons why couples might choose not to announce their pregnancies until they're ready.
California-based fertility expert Elizabeth King, who is also a birth and bereavement doula, spoke to Newsweek about why women might keep the news to themselves. She said: "A lot of women hide a pregnancy just because they have experienced fertility challenges and want to protect that from others.
"Some like to share early, to have the support along the way. Some like to hide their pregnancy to keep it intimate between them and their partner. Having a baby is such a personal thing, that there are no right ways to know when to announce."
On families who may feel betrayed at not being told, King said: "Families may feel sad they didn't know, but ultimately it's not up to them. They can feel sad, but they should leave the decision to the pregnant person."
Reddit users were left debating the situation online, as some felt it wasn't the poster's fault and she couldn't help having false labor, but others thought she could have handled the situation in a much better way.
One person wrote: "You are 8 months along, can go into labor any day, and it comes out at your [sister-in-law's] baby shower? That is extremely disrespectful. I get why you kept it private in the beginning. You should have told them before the shower and offered to not come."
However, another user was more understanding: "Going into false labor isn't something that can be controlled and you can't prevent medical emergencies. Someone else being pregnant at a baby shower isn't taking all of the attention."
Newsweek reached out to u/HelloCheese12 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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