Woman Praised for Calling Out 'Extremely Creepy' Brother-in-Law

Commenters supported a woman for refusing to share her bed with her brother-in-law after he climbed in while she was babysitting his kids.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/ThrowraMegan11, posted about the incident in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 10,000 upvotes and 1,600 comments. The post can be found here.

In-Law Relationships

Many individuals experience some sort of conflict with their in-laws, whether that be contention between them and their mother-in-law or communicating boundaries with their partner's siblings.

One study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science journal found that men and women experience more conflict with their in-laws than with their biological families.

Woman yells at "extremely creepy" brother-in-law
Commenters defended the woman for calling out her brother-in-law when he attempted to climb into bed with her. DeanDrobot/iStock

Nearly half of respondents reported experiencing more conflict with their mothers-in-law than with their biological mothers.

As Manhattan-based psychologist Greg Kushnick told Newsweek in May, one way to deal with a toxic family relationship is to define your own boundaries.

By ensuring you know your own boundaries, you are more aware of your own triggers and can recognize if a person is being manipulative or toxic.

Kushnick also recommends that individuals find healthy forms of communication when dealing with these family members, such as how to respond to "toxic" comments or manipulation.


In the post titled "AITA for refusing to share my bed with my BIL even though his kids were sleeping in it?" the 30-year-old woman said her older sister, 35, passed away two months ago.

The OP said she often helps her brother-in-law by watching their 3- and 5-year-old kids at their house or taking them to her place.

Recently, the OP's brother-in-law left the kids with her for the day and asked later if she could have them sleep over.

"I of course agreed. The kids and I fell asleep while we were reading a story," the post read. "Then at 1am I woke up to some noise. I opened my eyes and saw my BIL slowly climbing in bed."

The woman said she "freaked out" and asked her brother-in-law what he was doing, but he tried to get her to calm down and said he wanted to "join" her and the kids.

"This did not sit right with me...I was confused," the post read. "I asked how he thought this was an appropriate thing to do and he again said that his kids were there so he didn't think I'd mind him being with them. I felt extremely uncomfortable."

The OP got out of the bed and asked him to leave the room, but he refused, saying that she "can't keep him away from his kids."

"I told him that I'd have the kids join him in a minute. He eventually walked out," the post read. he had the kids get dressed and took them home after calling what I did 'unnecessarily cruel' and 'rude.'"

The following day when the OP called to check on the kids, he told her he was still upset and that they were trying to catch up on sleep after she "interrupted their sleep" by refusing to let him get in her bed.

"I hung up and felt so many things all at once. I told my mom and she said I had to apologize for how I behaved towards my grieving BIL," the post read. "AITA for saying no?"

Redditor Reactions

More than 1,600 users commented on the post, many criticizing the woman's brother-in-law for thinking it was okay to get into her bed without permission.

"NTA. You weren't keeping him from his children, you were keeping him from creeping into your bed while you slept," one user commented. "I can understand that everyone's going through a really hard time right now, so maybe he doesn't understand what he did, but that doesn't make you TA here."

"Absolutely-effing-not. That man is trying to slide right into bed as if you are his dead wife/your sister and he doesn't see a problem with that," another commented. "That is not a mistake, that was a tactical move to see how far he could push your boundaries and see how much you'll allow during a vulnerable time (half asleep)...You were right to have all alarm bells go off."

"Grief makes people do strange things, but the second you said no it should have been respected. This is extremely creepy," another commented.

"So if I am understanding this right, he snuck into your home in the middle of the night and was going to crawl into bed?" another commented. "Excuse me? On what planet is that acceptable behavior?"

Newsweek reached out to u/ThrowraMegan11 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Other Viral Posts

In another viral Reddit post, a man was backed for telling his neighbors about the "pervert" next door who was watching his wife in the backyard.

Commenters also praised a woman for refusing to let her brother-in-law sleep in her bed during the holidays, and another woman was shocked when she discovered her sister-in-law's plan to make her get divorced.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.