Woman Praised for Refusing To Send Cousin Wedding Gift After Invite Snub

A woman's decision not to send a wedding gift to her cousin, despite her family prompting her to, has been supported online.

The woman took to popular Subreddit "Am I the A**hole" to gain insight on her situation with a post racking up over 8,000 votes. Although she did not receive a wedding invitation from her cousin and his fiancée, her family were still left shocked by her decision not to send a gift for the big day.

According to wedding site The Knot, etiquette generally suggests that if you can't attend a wedding, but received an invitation, then a gift should still be sent. Etiquette, however, doesn't technically come into the equation when you don't receive an invite.

With current reports suggesting that the average cost of a wedding gift is around $100, the woman's reluctance to send one would likely not come as a surprise, but her family don't quite agree.

Wedding gift
A stock image of a wedding gift. A woman's decision not to send a wedding gift to her cousin, despite her family prompting her to, has been supported online. Getty Images

Her cousin, Ted, met his bride-to-be, Maddy, a few years ago and began bringing her to family events, but the poster admitted she didn't immediately "click" with her.

"We talk at family stuff but she's not someone I want to hang out with or become friends with," she wrote.

The family, however, were eager for them to become close, often prompting them to speak and spend time together.

"My aunt really pushed her on me. I don't know if it's because we're the same age-ish or what but it was annoying. Anytime we were both at an event she'd find some way to push us together. I felt like a little kid being forced to play with someone," wrote the woman.

"My own college graduation party had to be moved because Maddy had to work and it wouldn't be nice to exclude her. Even though it was inconvenient for me and meant most of my friends couldn't come and I had to rush around."

During a conversation with a family member, it dawned upon the woman that she had not received an invite, despite everyone else having theirs.

"Well maybe it's not personal, you should still get a gift for them," the family member said.

Similarly, her dad confirmed that he had received an invite, after which the woman dubbed her snub "crappy" and cited the time she rescheduled her own party for her cousin's partner.

"He said 'that was a graduation party, this is a wedding. Now that you know about it, just be a bigger person and get a gift. Don't be petty.' I don't want to buy them a gift and I probably won't invite Ted to any future events I have," admitted the poster.

Despite the family's advice, Reddit users swayed heavily towards the woman and encouraged her to stick with her decision to avoid giving a gift.

"You weren't invited, they don't get a present. Send a nice congrats card to placate your family but you absolutely do not need to spend money on them," wrote one user.

"It's really weird to revolve a party around some cousin's girlfriend, or anyone that doesn't involve the person it's celebrating or an emergency of the person giving it. I could see a sibling," added another. "Also, no invite means you aren't obligated to send a gift."

Another user agreed, noting: "No invite 100 percent means no gift. Not even a card."

Newsweek has reached out to the poster for comment. We could not verify the details of the story.

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