Woman Slammed for Demanding Boyfriend Break Final Promise to Dead Friend

Commenters criticized a woman who told her boyfriend that it made her "uncomfortable" that he still honors a promise to his late best friend.

The anonymous man, known as u/throwaway_4746749, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 16,000 upvotes and 1,900 comments.

Persistent distrust and jealousy in a relationship are often considered relationship red flags. As licensed marriage and family therapist Amber Trueblood told VeryWellMind, jealousy often stems from a partner's insecurity and can cause strains in a relationship.

Other common red flags for a relationship include:

  • Love bombing
  • Not introducing you to their friends or family
  • Gaslighting
  • Inconsistent behavior
  • Ignoring your boundaries
  • You don't like their friends
  • Bad-mouthing exes
Woman uncomfortable with boyfriend's tradition with friend
Users criticized a man's girlfriend saying she was unsupportive and should be okay with him honoring his late best friend. Although there was no romantic relationship, the man's girlfriend said he should stop the tradition. stefanamer/iStock

In the post titled "AITA for telling my girlfriend I'll keep honoring my best friend's dying wish even if it makes her uncomfortable?" the man explained that his late best friend was his next-door neighbor and that growing up they went to the same schools and played together.

During their sophomore year, they joked about "getting married" after most of their classmates started dating.

"As a joke I made her a fake ring and she gave me her scrunchie," the post read. "A few weeks later, a drunk driver hit her. She sustained multiple injuries and was in the ICU for 2 months, the doctor told her family that her survival chances are slim."

The last time they talked before she died, she made him promise that he would visit her on their "wedding anniversary" and wear the scrunchie during the visit.

He said that four years ago, he started dating his girlfriend and asked if she was okay with his ongoing tradition.

"She commented about how sweet and nice the tradition was and told me she was perfectly fine with it," the post read. "Today was the 10th anniversary and I took the day off, before my girlfriend went to work she told me it's time to put this tradition to rest and move on."

He said she told him that it was "starting to get pathetic" that he wears a "dead girl's scrunchie" to celebrate a "fake marriage" from 10 years ago.

"I was furious at her comments because she wasn't just a 'dead girl,'" the post read. "She was my best friend and like a sister to me, we grew up and did everything together."

He added that years ago, he ensured his girlfriend that he never had a romantic or sexual relationship with his friend and that the wedding was a joke.

"It's not like I talk about her or keep her photos around the house or anything similar," the post read. "When I told her that I'll keep honoring my best friend's dying wish even if it made her uncomfortable, she left for work angry at me and hasn't came [sic] back home yet."

More than 1,800 users commented on the post, many criticizing his girlfriend for not supporting him and that if she had a problem with the promise she needed to communicate.

"Don't feel bad about honoring your friend how you want to honor her, don't doubt how you feel at all and if you're girlfriend can't understand that that's her problem," one user commented. "I hope the support of Reddit will help you realize that you have done nothing wrong."

"NTA but if she's been fine up until now then maybe she's upset about something else?" one user commented. "Like there's been a feeling that the relationship has fallen into complacency, so she's lashed out at a display of you showing something else as being meaningful?"

"Your girlfriend is being wildly insensitive & dismissive of a tribute you've made to your friend for a decade," another user commented. "That said, a time may come in your life where [sic] visiting your friend may not be possible, and that's okay."

Other users added that maybe his girlfriend was feeling resentful that he was still honoring a promise from 10 years ago but wasn't ready to marry her.

"I wonder if she's reaching a point where she wants to get married and is feeling resentful," one user wrote.

"There are valid reasons this might have suddenly started to make her more uncomfortable. You've been together 4 years, and maybe the reality of you having another 'wedding anniversary' even if you were to get married is hitting her," another added. "I don't know if you plan on getting married or if there's any tension around the subject, but I can see how her feelings could have changed."

Newsweek reached out to u/throwaway_4746749 for comment.

Another man was recently praised in the popular "Am I The A**hole" forum after he told his wife to "work on her insecurity" after she demanded he distance himself from a female friend.

One man was slammed after he failed to defend his girlfriend after his brother made an "ignorant" comment about her infertility.

In another Reddit post, a woman sparked outrage after she told her cousin to stop wasting her money on IVF.