Woman Urged to Leave Relationship After She Pays for Every Meal

The internet has urged a woman to leave her relationship after sharing that her boyfriend has her pay for every meal when they go out.

Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/AITAthrow5353 shared her story to receive feedback from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 11,800 upvotes and 4,400 comments.

The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she has been dating her boyfriend "Ricky" for five months. She wrote that he has been divorced before but doesn't use the word and refers to himself as a "divorcee" since he was the one to call the marriage off.

"He always go on long rants about his exes and say stuff like 'I hope you don't have this awful habit my ex has' or 'hope you like XYZ cause my ex didn't' and the list goes on," OP said.

Woman forced to pay for boyfriend's meals
Above, a man and a woman have a disagreement while seated at a table set with breakfast items. Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman was urged to leave her relationship after her boyfriend has her pay for every meal when they go out. Antonio_Diaz/iStock / Getty Images Plus

She wrote that she got a new second job and how Ricky would always have her pay for meals when they would go out to eat. When she would object, he would tell her he was going through a "rough patch."

Recently, Ricky invited his parents to go out to dinner with them. They arrived to the restaurant first and he asked if she brought enough money.

"I said why and he told me that he told his parents that I'd pay for their meals," OP wrote. "I said why would I and he went on about his parents going through a rough patch just like him. I said 'I'm sorry this can't be a coincidence!' he asked what I meant and I told him that I would not be paying. He insisted, I refused and said no. He then leaned back and said 'well, you're here, so not much of a choice you have anyway' while laughing like it was funny."

"I silently got up, took my phone and purse and walked right out. He was shocked he started shouting after me to stop and wait but I didn't. I went home and he called me enraged saying that I did a horrible thing walking out on him and his parents, while I could've just paid. I told him that their unfortunate financial situation isn't my problem and that I wasn't obligated to pay for their food. If they couldn't pay for their meals, then they should not go out," she continued.

He told her that she was making money a priority "like his ex did" and told her how disrespectful she was about leaving him at the restaurant. He refuses to speak to her until she apologizes.

Newsweek reached out to u/AITAthrow5353 for comment.

How to spot red flags in a relationship

Are you in a situation similar to OP's? Did you just begin a relationship and want to be aware of certain red flags to look for? Here are some common red flags to keep an eye out for, according to betterup.com:

  • A partner that has an overly controlling behavior.
  • Lack of trust within the relationship.
  • Your partner is negatively affecting your self-esteem.
  • There are signs of physical, emotional and mental abuse.
  • In your relationship, there are signs of anger management issues.
  • Whenever you have conflict, there is never a result.
  • If a partner starts to frequently display jealousy.
  • If a partner has a negative impact on your relationship with your family and friends.

Newsweek has published several articles regarding conflicts in relationships including how a man "humiliated" by his girlfriend's dress choice to meet his parents, the internet standing by a "toxic" wife for telling her husband no and a woman praised for dumping a man after nine years as his kids won't accept her.

Redditor reactions

"OMG - GIRL RUN!!!! This is NOT a man you want or need in your life! Go, go, go and don't look back - like ever!! [Not the a**hole] by a long shot," u/33ayin exclaimed, receiving the top comment of over 11,000 upvotes.

"Divorcee vs Divorced - Red Flag. Ranting about his ex on repeat - Red Flag. Expecting you to pay for everything - Red Flag. 'Seeing how much help I can offer' - Red Flag. Expecting you to pay for his parents, and not warning you ahead of time - Red Flag. Comparing you to an ex because you don't want to pay for his family - Red Flag. This dude is full of red flags. it's time to run. [Not the a**hole], u/GamesCatsComics wrote.

U/WhiteJadedButterfly said, [Not the a**hole], you're together for only 5 months and he's pulling this s**t. Time to cut your losses! Next!"

"[Not the a**hole]. Boyfriend is clearly using you. Glad you stood your ground. Also he probably did not initiate his own divorce... just a hunch lol," u/anonthrow_away88 commented.