Finn Gomez/Getty Images
By George Chesterton
0
Share
Newsweek is a Trust Project member
See more of our trusted coverage when you search.Prefer Newsweek on Googleto see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
The clearest sign of old age is when falling over becomes “a fall." Having “a fall” is an ID card for being geriatric, like using a senior discount coupon or eating too much creamed corn.
Just ask Senator Mitch McConnell. The 84-year-old Kentucky Republican finally reappeared at the Capitol after three months of convalescence. At that venerable age, poor Mitch didn’t have the option to just fall over. He had to have a fall. It’s a sobering thought, even for those of us a generation or two behind him.
Some people will do anything to convince themselves that physical deterioration can be held at bay. I completely understand this paranoia, though good health has downsides (more on that later). For those entering the “Sniper's Alley” of their fifties, the vibe increasingly becomes “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
Read More on Life
I am (hopefully) at least 20 years from having a fall, this terrifying semantic portal through which no elderly person returns. I don’t do much falling over, and although I look undeniably middle-aged, I’m a steady kind of fella and physically resilient. Thanks to a very athletic youth, I’ve retained some core strength and coordination. But I know this will ebb away.
I’m young enough that if I trip over the robot vacuum cleaner or tumble getting out of the shower, I'll retain my strength, if not my dignity. But I dread the day when my daughter says to her friends. “Dad’s in hospital. He’s had a fall.” All those yellow bruises. Yuck.
Your fifties are thought of as the make-or-break decade. It’s said if you don’t sort out your fitness and diet by then, you are setting yourself up for big trouble. I wouldn’t want to suggest avoiding a healthy lifestyle, but the effort required to stay fit comes with its own set of problems.
Four years ago, I had an arthroscopy on my right knee after tearing my cartilage. I injured myself while running in the forest. I’ll admit that if I had been fitter and slimmer to start with, it probably wouldn’t have happened, but that effort caused the immediate trouble.
In the past year, three of my friends experienced a similar problem, while one is facing surgery on his other knee, having already had it on the first one two years ago. He did the damage playing padel. You can see where I’m going with this.
My friends require knee operations because they wanted to get fit and ended up hurting themselves by overexercising. In trying to offset long-term physical decline, they induced short-term agony and made it impossible for them to walk properly for six months, let alone work out at the gym.
As a nonexercising friend of mine explained: “If we were cars, what would you rather be, a car that stays in the garage with one careful owner, or a car that is on the road all the time wearing out its engine, brakes and gearbox.”
He has, as he puts it, “very low mileage” and by doing as little as possible he has put less strain on his aging body than other friends with 100,000 miles on the clock. I hate this logic because I worry it might be some truth in it.
Related Story
Ed Sheeran Says Macklemore’s Ouster Wasn’t His Call. That’s the Point.
My wife tells me I must stay fit and healthy for my sake, hers and our children's. If we had better life insurance, perhaps she wouldn’t be so insistent. I don’t think my daughters even notice their father aging, partly because they are busy being teenage kids, and partly because it’s something they repress unconsciously. They are still young enough to assume I can solve any and all of their problems, and so acknowledging that this won’t last forever is one of the true terrors of growing up. The happier the home, the greater the fall when children realize their dad can’t do everything. Unhappy homes learn this lesson much earlier.
But on the immediate problem, my wife is correct. It’s crazy not to make an effort. I know exercise is great for mental health and good nutrition can stave off all sorts of illnesses and conditions. But it’s cruel of Mother Nature to make a healthy lifestyle vital at the same age you are working hardest and have the most responsibility for others. And it’s also typical that you need to exercise at the same stage of life when you start to feel aches and pains. Life is a lot more ironic than even Alanis Morissette realized.
This week I have made my hundredth promise to get fit and eat healthier. I never thought I’d say this, but Mitch McConnell could be my inspiration,
May you always fall over, but never have a fall.
George Chesterton is Newsweek’s Director, Publishing & Subscription Strategy.
For more on parenting, health and lifestyle, subscribe to The Good Life newsletter here.
View 0 Comments
Submit Correction
View Editorial & AI Guidelines