Bride Backed for Editing Photos After Mother-In-Law Ignores Wedding Colors

A bride who told her mother-in-law that she'd be editing the wedding photos after she decided to ignore the color theme for the event is being supported online.

The bride, u/meepx3meep, shared her story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, earning 6,200 upvotes and 2,000 comments for her post, "[Am I the A**hole] for changing the way my MIL looks in my wedding photos?"

The original poster (OP) describes herself as "very detail oriented," and planned a color-coordinated wedding with pink and black. She asked the members of the wedding party and the parents of the betrothed to swear something in those colors so the photos would be "cohesive," and it appeared that everyone was on board.

While both sets of her husband-to-be's grandparents went out shopping together to get appropriately colored clothing, and the bride and her mom shopped for her grandparents at their request, the groom's mother declined to go shopping with the bride and said she'd get something with her friends. She later turned up for the wedding in purple.

wedding colors mother in law pink black
A stock picture of a wedding. A mother-in-law is being bashed for refusing to follow the color-coordination request for the wedding party. iStock/Getty

Perhaps the reaction on Reddit was not surprising. One of the most important aspects of a wedding is letting the happy couple be the focus of the event—after all, it's their day. Most complaints at weddings seem to be people trying to steal focus away from the bride and groom—either by butting into the limelight to make a big announcement of their own or by wearing white.

Wearing white is considered a faux pas. Even though some celebrities flout this tradition and get away with it, not everyone is Beyoncé.

"While many wedding traditions are going away, not wearing white as a wedding guest will always remain," Katie Brownstein, from wedding planning website Joy, told Newsweek. "Everyone's top priority during a wedding should be ensuring that the bride feels special. And there's no quicker way to steal her thunder than by stealing her color."

In the latest case on Reddit, on the rehearsal night, the OP's mom asked what her soon-to-be mother-in-law would be wearing, and she said a long dress that was in the wedding colors. However—despite the bride knowing the mother-in-law had a "beautiful black dress" in the closet—it turned out that she had been fibbing.

While all the men in the wedding party wore black tuxes with pink or black ties, and all the women wore black or pink dresses, that wasn't true for the groom's parents. The day of the wedding, the groom's mother rolled up wearing purple with neon-blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick—even though she doesn't wear makeup often, and the groom's father had a matching purple tie.

"I was livid, but ignored it because I didn't want it to ruin my big day," she wrote.

After the ceremony, when her new father-in-law asked how he looked during pictures, she told them flat out that he and his wife "stick out like big sore purple thumbs."

"He asked what that was supposed to mean, and I told him that they knew the dress code. Now they look out of place. He said he wore was given to him and would relay the message to my [mother-in-law]," u/meepx3meep wrote.

Later that night, the mother-in-law asked what u/meepx3meep's issue was, and told the bride she never bought a dress in the right colors, but that the purple dress was "more true to her and that's what mattered."

"I said that's fine, I'll fix the pictures in post production. She said I would not adjust anything, they paid for the pictures and I would not alter anything," she wrote. "I said, any picture I post with her in it will be altered on my end, so they have no control of what I do. I excused myself and enjoyed the rest of my wedding."

She added that during the wedding planning stage, her mother-in-law kept trying to steal focus, saying she could "make decisions" and that her "opinion counts." Her reasoning was that she was the groom's mother and was helping pay for the wedding—even though the OP's parents paid for the bulk of the wedding.

The in-laws, instead, paid for the photographer and the rehearsal dinner—both of which were cheaper than expected. The photographer was a friend who cut them a discounted rate, and they chose the "cheapest options for everything possible" at the dinner.

Despite the easy and obvious rule not to steal the bride's thunder, a number of folks have tried to get around it. Some brides take the OP's route and photoshop the offending garment in wedding pictures.

That said, while it's best to follow the bride and groom's wishes for their wedding, sometimes innocent mistakes happen. One bride who decided to wear a blue dress instead of white was bashed for refusing to pay a musician who happened to wear a blue dress not realizing that she'd claimed the color.

Sometimes a bride's requests are unreasonable. Another bride was bashed for demanding her stepdaughter-to-be dye her hair so she wouldn't look like the groom's late wife.

Reddit took the bride's side, bashing the mother-in-law's selfish behavior.

"I cant stand over controlled weddings like this because of reasons like this, but it does sound like she did it on purpose to annoy you. so [Not the A**hole]," u/mononokegirl_ wrote in the top-rated comment with 12,300 upvotes.

"I agree with [Not the A**hole]. But I think [mother-in-law] did this specifically so she would stand out at the wedding and in the photos," u/fromhelley wrote. "ShE PaId mOnEy! [Mother-in-law] wanted to shine!"

"[Not the A**hole]. Her big eyesore didn't turn out the way she wanted. Those are your photos, not hers. If they didn't intend those photos as a gift (meaning you get free reign), then they should have made that clear wayy before the wedding," u/VirtualEconomy wrote.

"[Not the A**hole] If it were a simple misunderstanding I could give her the benefit of the doubt, but the fact that she straight up lied to you about what she was wearing makes her the [a**hole] here 100%," u/StankThot420 wrote.

"She knew what she was doing, and from the sound of it she went out of her way to be as ostentatious as possible. This is YOUR wedding, and it is not about her. I don't think asking people to color coordinate is an unreasonable ask at all, but it's like she went out of her way to draw as much attention to herself as possible," they continued.

Newsweek reached out to u/meepx3meep for comment.