Man Not Speaking to In-Laws Over Their $70,000 Mistake a Decade Ago Praised

Internet users have agreed with a man who refuses to speak to his in-laws after they caused $70,000 worth of damage to his construction equipment, even though he told them they couldn't use it.

Reddit user u/WallabyOverall3366 asked if they are in the wrong for telling their brother-in-law to "get over himself" 10 years after the damage happened.

Family feud after 10 year feud
Stock image shows relations arguing over money at table. A family has been feuding for 10 years after an in-law's construction equipment was destroyed. SeventyFour/Getty Images

Feuding over finances is no surprise. The American Psychological Association has regularly carried out surveys about what stresses affect individuals, and money troubles are consistently top of the list.

In 2014, the survey found that 72 percent of Americans reported feeling stressed about money, and 18 percent said that discussing funds with family was something they wouldn't do.

The Reddit post explains that the poster's brother-in-law is a general contractor and has plenty of equipment for his work. When the person's dad and brother were building a new deck, they wanted to employ the brother-in-law's help.

"They prepared the ground as best they could without the skid loader but got to the point they couldn't go on without it. They went to my sis's house to ask again but found out BIL [brother-in-law] went out of town. They talked my sis into letting them borrow it," the post reads.

"I was told, dad's truck wasn't big enough or powerful enough to tow the skid loader on the dump trailer, so he lost control. The truck, trailer, and skid loader were totaled. The insurance was barely enough to cover the medical costs and the truck. There was none left over to cover BIL's stuff."

The poster explains that, upon his return, the brother-in-law was left furious by the wreckage and "threatened to sue." No charges were pursued in the end, but the brother-in-law no longer has anything to do with his wife's family.

While family feuds and grudges can be difficult to navigate, professional counselor Linda Whiteside told Newsweek: "I think the best way to deal with this is to communicate with the person holding the grudge. Make sure the area of conversation is in a safe place and that there are multiple witnesses, as money leads to people becoming a bit volatile.

"During the conversation, let them tell you everything they will divulge, from how they feel to how it affects them. Finally, when they have finished informing you of everything they may have bottled up, it is best to ask them how they want to resolve this issue."

Having an open discussion can go a long way to improving matters. Whiteside also suggests that having "concrete steps" for how you're going to achieve the resolution that suits everyone is vitally important, too.

Family feud lasts for ten years
Stock image shows a family dispute. A family has been feuding for the last 10 years, and it recently came to a halt as one member said the person should "let it go." AndreyPopov/Getty Images

While the Reddit user acknowledges that the fallout occurred 10 years ago, they took to social media on February 1 because of an upcoming family celebration.

For their parents' 50th wedding anniversary, the siblings are planning a family gathering and paying for a cruise. However, the brother-in-law says that he shouldn't have to lose more money to the family.

The post continues: "I spoke to sis about it the other day and she said she's coming with the kids, but BIL is not coming. I was fine with that but when we were discussing their portion of the cruise money, I heard him yelling in the background to deduct their portion from the cost of the skid loader and dump trailer."

This was a step too far for the original poster. He told the brother-in-law to "let it go," but unfortunately the intervention has only made tensions worse. The poster is left wondering if they're in the wrong now for being "out of line."

The Reddit post has more than 13,000 votes so far and over 6,000 comments. Many users have written that the poster and their family's casual attitude towards the financial damage they caused puts them in the wrong.

One person commented: "Your family stole $50K+ in work equipment from your BIL. They didn't pay him back, by the sounds of it showed zero remorse, and he should just get over it? You and your family sound massively entitled, your BIL is smart to cut the lot of you clean off."

Another person wrote: "they nicely washed their hands of their own misdeed and haven't bothered paying a single cent back in 10 years. I understand they are poor, but that doesn't diminish a sense of responsibility."

Do you have a monetary dilemma? Let us know via We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.