Family Slammed for 'Harassing' Widow After Husband Dies of Cancer

A man's family was criticized for "harassing" his widow by asking her to give them his wedding ring and accusing her of lying when she said it was buried with him.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Throwara3252461, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 13,300 upvotes and 5,300 comments. The post can be found here.

Conflict with In-Laws

Experts have found that toxic in-laws have a tough time respecting boundaries and are inconsistent with their moods, causing added stress for some individuals.

According to a study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science Journal, both men and women reported having more conflict with their in-laws than with their biological parents.

Family backed for "harassing" widow
A family was slammed for accusing their grieving in-law of lying about burying her husband's wedding ring with him. nicoletaionescu/iStock

The study found that nearly half of respondents said they have experienced more conflict with their mothers-in-law than their biological mothers.

Mothers also reported experiencing more conflict with their daughters-in-law than with their biological daughters.

Most conflicts between individuals and their in-laws revolved around finances and child care, according to the study.


In the post titled "AITA for suggesting that my sister inlaw is lying about burying my brother inlaw's wedding ring with him?" the woman said her husband's brother died two weeks ago from cancer.

The OP said his widow—her sister-in-law—was never on "good terms" with their in-laws and that they were having issues. She added that she is not close with her sister-in-law because she seems to "resent her."

"My inlaws had been asking my sister inlaw to give them my brother inlaw's wedding ring so they could keep it," the post read. "She refused and they got into a huge argument then she left with the kids."

Recently, OP's in-laws went over to the woman's house hoping to take the ring with them, but they were told she could not give it to them because she buried it with her husband.

'I Am Grieving'

"When my parents inlaw mentioned this and were devastated, I suggested that she might just be lying to get them to drop it," the post read. "Suddenly, they got up and quickly got into their cars and went over to her house and had another huge argument there."

The OP said her sister-in-law called saying she was "horrible" and had no right meddling in her life and encouraging their in-laws to "harass her."

"I argued that I only made a suggestion and that her real issue was with them," the post read. "She hung up after telling me to mind my own business and stop getting involved."

But OP said her husband is "berating" her for the incident and said his parents are "crazy." He also told the OP she shouldn't "approve of their behavior" or "help them harass" her grieving sister-in-law.

"I mean my parents inlaw are also grieving and I, too, am grieving," the post read. "My sister inlaw's words hurt me when all I did was just make a suggestion when I saw how devastated my parents inlaw were."

Redditor Reactions

More than 5,300 users commented on the post, many criticizing the OP for insulting her grieving sister-in-law.

"YTA, all of you. (Excluding your husband and the widow)," one user said. "Her husband died 2 weeks ago. How about leaving her alone with all this bs?"

The commenter added that it is "reasonable" for a widow to keep her husband's ring since it is "symbolic" and a "sign of partnership."

"It's already nasty of your in laws to even ask her to give it to them," the comment continued. "Her marriage is really none of their business."

"You're grieving?! What in the what? You participated in the harassment of a grieving widow but it's ok because you're also grieving so the grieving widow should be more considerate of you," another user said. "That's really what you're going with? YTA, leave the poor woman alone and do maybe be mindful that if anything were to happen to your husband, this is the same crazy that you'll be subjected to."

"YTA—because you are now saying that you 'just make a suggestion'—no you didn't you accused her of lying," another user said. "EVERYONE HERE IS UPSET and you just accused a grieving widow of lying!"

"Why would she give her dead husbands wedding ring to her in-laws?" another user wrote. "That makes absolutely no sense. She has every right to keep it or have it burried with him. And your husband is right, you should stay out of it and stop encouraging this horrible behavior."

"Seriously what the f**k is wrong with you people. She buried the love of her life and you're now wanting jewelry back," another user commented. "F**king disgusting. What's next saying that you would like the engagement ring back because it was purchased with mutual money and his parents should have it. There's a special spot in hell for that family."

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwara3252461 for comment.

Other Viral Posts

In another viral Reddit post, a woman was backed for telling her future mother-in-law she doesn't want her to act like her son's grandma.

One couple was recently criticized online for suggesting that their daughter-in-law "seek help" for autism when she was suffering from postpartum depression.

Another man was slammed after expecting his daughter-in-law to serve his dinner.