Internet Backs Grandkid Not Splitting $200K Inheritance With Dad: 'Manipulated'

A grandchild is receiving widespread support online after seeking advice over their decision not to split their $200,000 inheritance with their dad.

The Redditor, posting under BobbyBukarabi, shared the delicate situation to the site's popular AmITheA**hole forum.

They explained their dad cheated on their mother when they were 13, and after getting the other woman pregnant, left to start their new family.

Referring to their mother, Bobby wrote: "She [was] obviously heart broken and didn't know what to do. We had moved to a new state with my father for work so she had no family around.

"My father dropped us like a bad habit soon after this came out. He attempted to keep a relationship with me, but ultimately his new family was 'his priority' as he said. Tough to understand for a 13 year old, but whatever. If he didn't want me, I wasn't going to need him so my mother and I moved on."

They explained they were only able to rebuild their lives with the help of their grandmother, their father's mother, who was in disbelief over her son's actions.

Bobby said: "She always loved us and was appalled with what her son had done to us. He stopped seeing her as well for the most part. We became very close over the years. Seeing each other for special occasions and holidays while her son was nowhere to be found. She even helped my mom out monetarily when we needed it too."

But as the "years caught up" with her she developed late-stage colon cancer, and within a few months was in a hospice.

A few days before she passed away, she asked Bobby to call her son to come and see her.

"He'd only been to see her a couple times since she had gotten sick. When he came by, I was visiting as we did every few days and he acted like I was some random person," Bobby admitted.

Their grandmother asked her son to come back the next day, and despite "calls and texts" asking him to come, she passed away four days later without another visit.

"She went peacefully with me and my mom by her side. That was hard. I miss her every day. She was my guardian angel most of my life and I know she continues to watch over me," they said.

After the funeral, Bobby was shocked to discover their grandmother had essentially left all her inheritance to them.

They explained: "Unbeknownst to everybody, she left me her house and a good amount of money. $200,000. No idea she did that, but in the will, there was a note to me from her that said: 'You are worth it. Love Grandma.' She's amazing. Also in her will, she left my father exactly $1 as his inheritance."

The news didn't go down well with the dad, who went "ballistic" after finding out, "blowing up my phone all the time. Demanding I give him 'his house and his money.'"

Their dad's new family got involved too, as they wrote: "His new wife and his son were messaging me a lot and his son was writing on social media that I manipulated my grandmother."

Their dad eventually said sorry, but to add insult to injury told his eldest: "My father apologized and said he was under a lot of stress because he's in debt and was banking on this money to come in for bills and to send his son to college. That made me feel bad. Like maybe I should give him something."

After some consideration they decided not to share the money with him, but said: "I kind of think that makes me an a**hole because it seems like they really do need it. But on the other hand f*** him."

The post, shared on Monday, has already amassed more than 15,000 upvotes and nearly 2,000 comments, as the online community urged Bobby double the inheritance, by giving another $1.

Explaining more about the grandma's decision, BaconEggAndCheeseSPK wrote: "The reason she left him $1 was to make it clear to the Court in case he tried to challenge the will, that she hadn't forgotten to include him, but that she intended to disinherit him.

"She knew that her son would try to take the money she left you. It is very common practice to leave $1 when disinheriting someone. Respect your grandmother's wishes and don't give your father a dime."

Young_coastie agreed, saying: "Yes. As soon as I read that grandma left him $1, it was clear she knew exactly what she was doing. OP, she wanted him to have exactly what she left him. Continue having no contact, you know he is not worth the headache."

Cms151 also noted: "So the part of grandma including the $1.00 was so he cannot contest the will. If he weren't included, he could contest it. But by leaving $1.00 is to show that he's included but disinherited. It's the biggest F-U she could give and she knew exactly what she was doing when she did it."

Rubyredgrapefruits asked: "Yeah, why did he send his son to college and not his daughter? Now he expects OP to pay for his son's college? It would be an insult to the grandmother to give her dad anything. The half brother isn't at fault here—if he wants a relationship or is interested in meeting them, that's fair enough."

While throwawayact75 pointed out: "Banking on an inheritance from his mother whom he barely ever saw and taking it from the child who he barely ever saw."

Rbuff187 stated: "Do NOT give your father ANY money!! Nor his 'replacement' family. He's in debt? That's his own doing and it's not because he gave any support to you! NTA! I'm sorry for the loss of your guardian angel."

While it's not specified where the family is based, and which inheritance laws apply, it's common knowledge to disinherit with a dollar.

Website Bdibblelaw explains: "You absolutely do not have to leave something to everyone and, while leaving someone $1 may feel insulting, it's likely not meant that way. Some people just use this tactic of leaving a small inheritance to effectively disinherit the child.

"Usually, the goal is not to give the child $1, but just to acknowledge that the lack of a larger inheritance is intentional. A will that simply doesn't mention a child may appear to be incomplete. A will that gives them a dollar clearly states that they should not get anything more and that it was done on purpose."

Newsweek reached out to BobbyBukarabi for comment.

Hands grabbing envelope of money.
Hands grabbing envelope of money. A grandkid has defended not sharing their $200K inheritance with their dad. Oleksandr Shchus/Getty Images

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