'I Said No': Woman Backed for Making Mother-in-Law Stay in Hotel

Thousands of commenters were quick to defend one 26-year-old woman who detailed her mother-in-law's "bizarre" requests for sleeping arrangements in a popular internet forum.

In a viral Reddit post published in r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Xoxo76757 said she attempted to accommodate the requests, but was ultimately forced to book a hotel room for her mother-in-law, despite her husband's disapproval. Titled, "AITA for refusing to let MIL spend the night in my bedroom and lock the door," the viral post has received 18.4K votes and nearly 3,000 comments.

Writing that she and her 34-year-old husband married 9 months ago, the Redditor explained that her in-laws live in a separate town, and described her mother-in-law as "okay-ish."

Recently, during an unannounced visit, u/Xoxo76757 said that her husband's mother made it clear she expected to stay in the couple's home or, more specifically, the couple's bedroom.

"When it was time to go to bed, MIL requested that we let her sleep in the bedroom, on the master bad," she wrote. "Not just that, but lock the door as well because she explained she can't feel comfortable enough to sleep without locking the door."

"I politely declined and suggested other options like the guest room, couch and air mattress," she continued. "My husband agreed, but I said no."

Following the Redditor's refusal, her mother-in-law implored her son to amend the situation. However, despite his efforts to convince her to allow his mother to stay in their shared bedroom, u/Xoxo76757 remained firm in her decision.

"I told her those were all the options I had for her and if she didn't like them then I could book her in a hotel," she wrote. "She left at 12 a.m. and my husband blew up saying I disrespected his mom."

"He went to book a room in the same hotel as her and turned his phone off," she added.

Mother in law in hotel
One Redditor received the support of thousands after she explained why she wouldn't let her mother-in-law stay in her home's master bedroom. Motortion/iStock / Getty Images Plus

Overbearing in-laws are a part of many marriages, but in some cases, unexpected visits and general nosiness are indicators of something more sinister.

In a list of signs a mother-in-law's behavior has progressed past overbearing, becoming toxic, parenting advice website We Have Kids reported that unexpected visits are a violation of boundaries, and that expectations of subservience are, too.

"She will come to your house uninvited and unannounced, expecting you to welcome her with open arms and be grateful for the honor of her visit," the website reads. "To establish her dominance, she will expect you to please her."

Although We Have Kids, and numerous other marriage and parenting advice outlets, recommend setting firm boundaries with in-laws, a lack of cooperation from both partners can undermine these efforts.

In an interview with bridal magazine Brides, clinical psychologist Dr. Diana Kirschner said that, for men who consistently side with their mothers over their partners, maintaining boundaries can be especially difficult.

"You can't happily be both a husband and a mama's boy, because you're always torn in two directions," Kirschner told Brides. "He has to form a boundary between his new family and the family of origin, or be torn [for] the rest of his married life."

Thousands of Redditors echoed that sentiment.

In the viral Reddit post's top comment, which has received 35.6K votes, Redditor u/byuell said the original poster's husband should have denied his mother's request to sleep in the master bedroom, and that his inability to do so could serve as a precursor to the end of the couple's marriage.

"I would get a divorce," they wrote. "These kind of relationships never last a long time. He is not able to see the disrespect his mother is giving BOTH of you guys."

Redditor u/Accomplished-Shop514, whose comment has received 6.8K votes, questioned the mother-in-law's request to sleep in the couple's bedroom, and bashed her son for giving in to her demands.

"It's creepy that she wants to sleep in the room you and your husband share," they wrote. "Especially with that insane amount of pushback she was giving and looking at her son to 'step in' only make this worse."

"Husband is acting like a momma's boy and needs to see his mom is totally in the wrong," they added.

In a simple comment, Redditor u/AdrenalineAnxiety disagreed with the original poster's sentiment that her mother-in-law is disrespectful, and said her frustrations are a result of her partner's behavior.

"You don't really have a MIL problem," they commented. "You have a husband problem."