Internet Slams Wife for Encroaching on Husband's 'Guy Time' with Friends

Thousands of commenters were quick to call out one poster who told a popular internet forum why she ignored her husband's request to spend time alone with his friends.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/LeaveEmAlone3 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) explained that her husband recently asked to have "guy time" with his friends, and detailed his heated reaction after she refused to allow it.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for sitting with my husband and his friends although he told me he needed 'privacy," the viral post has received nearly 7,500 votes and 2,500 comments in the last 10 hours.

Beginning with the explanation that her husband is "very sociable," the original poster said she frequently tagged along with him and his friends when the couple was dating, but revealed how that has changed since the couple was married.

"After we got married he told me that I didn't need to be present for every hang out with his friends," she wrote. "I found this insulting because in a way...I felt like I'm being excluded and unwelcome to be around."

"He requested that when he's having his 'guests' over, I shouldn't treat them as my guests...and instead, asked that I leave them alone and give them space," she added.

Recently, the original poster's husband invited his friends over to the couple's home. Not wanting to be excluded, the original poster joined the group—much to her husband's dismay.

Argument over husband's "guy time"
Redditors called out one poster who said she thought it was "unreasonable" that her husband wanted to spend time alone with his friends. LuckyBusiness/iStock / Getty Images Plus

"There was a lot of silence and pauses in their conversation," she wrote. "My husband then took his [phone] and texted me saying 'can you give me and the guys some time alone?' I read the text but ignored it and remained seated because I felt like they wanted to talk about something shady."

"I sat through the entire visit and until they left," she added.

Following the gathering, the original poster said her husband was furious that she refused to give him space, and was adamant that he had asked multiple times to spend time alone with his friends. Despite his reasoning, the original poster said she believed his request was "unreasonable," and that she could not understand her husband's frustration.

"He said he already asked that I start giving him and his friends alone time, but I reminded him that I didn't find this reasonable," she wrote.

"I don't get it because it's not like I was behaving inappropriately and his friends were being too sensitive," she added. "He said that he always gives me and my girlfriends privacy but I said I never asked him to do that."

For some couples, time apart can be just as important as time spent together.

In an interview with Bustle, therapist Rachel Astarte said that purposefully spending time away from a romantic partner can feel counterintuitive, but can dramatically improve relationships.

"Taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, as though we're avoiding our partner," Astarte told Bustle. "In reality, brief periods of solitude recharge our soul batteries and allow us to give even more to our partners and to the relationship itself."

Despite the potential benefits of time apart, many couples struggle with codependency and other separation issues, which can lead to more severe problems in the future.

Patty Newbold, author of marriage blog Assume Love, also told Bustle that couples who rely solely on each other for companionship and all other emotional needs create pressurized environments in which relationships cannot thrive.

"No one person can provide all the things you need for happiness," Newbold said. "When your happiness is taking because you're depending on just one person, that's frightening and discouraging for them."

"If you spend time with your friends and family and keep doing things you love, you'll be getting your needs met by a whole range of people and things," Bustle writer Lea Rose Emery added. "Then your partner can focus on being your partner, rather than trying to be your everything."

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors echoed this sentiment and defended the original poster's husband and his multiple requests to spend time alone with his friends.

"[You're the a**hole]," Redditor u/Status-Pattern7539 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 20,000 votes.

"He asked nicely. You refused. He hinted, you refused. He flat out told you to leave, you refused," they continued. "Yes it's your house but you're making his friends uncomfortable and it's not unreasonable for him to spend time with his friends without you."

"Why do you feel the need to be glued to him?," Redditor u/BowlerStriking925 added. "Couples don't need to be together all the time."

Redditor u/Johoski, whose comment has received more than 6,400 votes, offered stern advice to the original poster.

"Your behavior is suffocating," they wrote. "If you love your husband and respect him as a person and value your relationship, you'll give him some breathing room."

Newsweek reached out to u/LeaveEmAlone3 for comment.