'Divorce': Husband & Family Dragged for Excluding Wife from Monthly Dinners

Commenters on a viral internet post gave stern advice to one wife who has been consistently excluded from her husband's monthly family dinners.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/restaurantcrasher (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she recently found out she was the only family member left out of these dinners, and decided to make things awkward for her husband, his parents, his brothers, and their significant others.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for eating at the same restaurant as my husband's family?," the viral post has received nearly 20,000 votes and 3,600 comments in the last day.

Beginning with the explanation that she married her husband three years ago, the original poster said she has been invited to some of his family's dinners, but not nearly as many as her soon-to-be sister-in-law.

"My husband's parents, his 2 brothers...and his brothers' girlfriends/fiancées have a tradition of going out to dinner once a month. I am invited about 50 [percent] of the time," she wrote. "I've talked to my husband's brother's fiancée, and she says she is invited every time."

"When I say I'm not invited, I mean that my husband tells me 'I'm going to the family dinner. It's probably best if you sit this one out,'" she continued. "When I expressed that I wanted to come, he told me that it would be for the best if I didn't."

"It has caused several fights," she added.

Last week, the original poster said her husband was scheduled to attend another family dinner that she wasn't invited to, so she made a reservation at the same restaurant they were going to. Writing that she was seated at a table where his family could not see her, the original poster said she made a point to walk past her husband and in-laws while they ate.

"My husband looked completely shocked and asked me what I was doing there," she wrote. "I told him that I had just been dying for a steak, so I came and got one."

Husband's exclusive family dinner
Redditors backed one wife who said she has been consistently excluded from her husband's family's dinners. Jupiterimages/iStock / Getty Images Plus

"My mother-in-law said it was very rude of me to interrupt their family dinner...I told them to have a good meal and I left," she continued. "My husband was really pissed when he came home...I said that he was an a**hole for not inviting me to his dinners when his brothers' [significant others] got to go."

"My husband said that the decision to invite [me] was between him and his family, and [that] I should respect it," she added.

Although tension between spouses and in-laws can be common for many new couples and, in some cases—expected, certain behaviors are likely to transform small rifts into full-blown conflicts.

In a list of seven "toxic" qualities that families exercise on the people their children or siblings choose to marry, Bustle included freezing out new, extended family members (in other words, acting as if they don't exist) as one of the worst.

"There are all sorts of terrible in-laws out there," Bustle writer Kat Kuehl asserted. "But, the ones who behave as if you don't actually exist have to be among the worst."

"They talk about you as if you aren't there," Kuehl continued. "They completely ignore you at family dinners."

In the case of the original poster, she was not just ignored at family dinners, she was excluded altogether.

Despite data collected by Women's Health, which revealed that having strong relationships with in-laws can inadvertently cause major problems for married couples, many commenters responding to the viral Reddit post were adamant that the original poster's nearly-nonexistent relationship with her in-laws was a direct result of her husband's repeated interventions, and could lead to catastrophe.

In the post's top comment, which has received more than 35,000 votes, Redditor u/pretzelwhale said that OP's husband and his family were all at fault for rarely inviting her to their family dinners.

"[What the f**k?]," they wrote. "Your husband and his family are all a**holes."

Redditor u/EggandSpoon42 echoed that sentiment, and encouraged the original poster to consider her options moving forward with her relationship.

"Honestly, I would divorce," they wrote in a comment which has received nearly 12,000 votes.

"Straight to divorce," they added. "Your husband's behavior is past the point of no return."

In a separate comment, which has received nearly 7,000 votes, Redditor u/AllTheT1 asked the original pointer a pointed question and expressed their sympathy for her.

"Why are you married to a man who doesn't see you as family?," they questioned. "This post has made me sad for you."

"He doesn't respect you or love you enough to stand up to his mom," another Redditor added. "You are his family and not being invited to 'family dinner' is disgusting."

Newsweek reached out to u/restaurantcrasher for comment.