Man Backed for Telling Siblings Family Secret, Making Them 'Hate' Mom

A man was backed online after telling his younger siblings about their mother's secret affair and causing them to "hate" her.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/BlackberryMiddle157, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received nearly 8,000 upvotes and 680 comments. The post can be found here.

Affairs and Divorce Rates

There were more than 750,000 registered divorces in 2019 in the United States—or a rate of 2.3 per 1,000, according to Statistica. While there are many reasons for divorces, many are the result of infidelity within marriages.

A 2021 survey conducted by Health Testing Centers found that about 46 percent of individuals said they'd previously cheated while in a relationship. Individuals with a past of infidelity are also more likely to cheat again.

Man shares family secret about mom
Commenters supported a man for telling his siblings about their mother's secret affair. Highwaystarz-Photography/iStock

Research has also found that men are more likely to cheat than women, with men between the ages of 55 to 64 being the most likely.

Of those who have cheated, the majority of individuals admitted their infidelity to their partner, while about 22 percent kept the affair secret.


In the post titled "AITA for telling my siblings the real reason why my parents got divorced?" the 22-year-old man said his parents got divorced after his mom, 42, had an affair with his best friend's father.

The OP said his father found out about the affair six years ago and kicked his mom out of the house.

"She ended up moving with her AP and broke two marriages," the post read.

Although the OP knew about the affair, he said his 15- and 18-year-old brothers and 12-year-old sister were not aware.

"My siblings saw my dad as the bad guy who kicked their mother out," the post read. "My 15M and 12F decided to live with my mom and dad only had them on weekends, my 18M stayed with us because he was closer to my dad already but he didn't know what caused our family to fall apart and also seemed to resent my dad."

The OP visited his mother often and said his father never spoke badly about his mother or let his siblings know why she was kicked out of the house.

The OP's younger siblings get along with their mom's husband Jeff, but the OP said he lost respect for him when he "went after" his married mother.

But when their dad asked the OP's siblings to be at his wedding in October, they became "mean" and "shamed" him for getting remarried. They also accused their father of cheating since they started dating just months after the affair.

When the OP asked his siblings to stop, they accused their dad's fiancée Rose of being the reason their parents "fell apart." That's when the OP decided to tell them the truth.

'They Confronted Her'

"I told them that the reason was my mom's infidelity," the post read. "Their faces turned red and asked me if I was joking but I said no, they got back to my mom's house and two days later they were back asking to stay with my dad full time, apparently they confronted her and her husband about what happened."

The OP said his mom ignored his calls and that she was distant when he went to her house. He also said that Jeff called him "TA" for revealing the secret to his siblings because they "seem to hate her now."

"I know, it's hard for my mom now because she loves us but my dad shouldn't be seen as the evil person and she as the great flawless parents," the post read. "Plus Rose shouldn't be seen as a homewrecker when my mom is. AITA for letting them know?"

Redditor Reactions

Hundreds of users commented on the post, many supporting the OP for telling his siblings about their mother's affair.

"NTA. Your mom and her affair partner have been lying to your siblings for years," one user said. "They deserve the consequences of (1) their affair and (2) their subsequent lies over YEARS."

"The truth would have come out eventually," another said. "Speaking from personal experience, sometimes it's better to get the truth out sooner rather than later."

"Hard disagree with anyone saying OP is the AH because it's 'not OPs place' to tell this secret," another said. "Those attitudes are from a different era and OPs siblings are old enough to know the truth and communicate freely despite the dysfunctional silence of the parents."

"NTA. You told them the truth," another user said. "It wasn't your fault that your mother wasn't enough of a woman to do it herself. She had no issue when your siblings blamed your father for ruining the family even though he was the victim. Your mother is a very weak human being but cheaters usually are."

"Your mom took the coward's way out," another said. "She had years to own up to her mistakes and she didn't. That is 100% on her."

"Just stick to the facts and let them speak for themselves," another said. "Eg. 'Mom had an affair' not 'It's mom's fault.'"

Newsweek reached out to u/BlackberryMiddle157 for comment.

In another viral Reddit post, a man received support after he said his wife asked for money after having an affair with their mechanic.

Another man was backed online after laughing at his brother who was caught cheating on his wife.

And one man was slammed for not replacing a groomsman who cheated on one of his fiancée's bridesmaids.