Man Lambasted for Kicking Sister Out of 'Couples Shower' for Wearing White

A man who asked if he was wrong to kick his sister out of a "couples shower" for wearing white has received his answer.

Posting to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, u/Necessary-Coconut280 asked if he was wrong "for backing my fiancée when she asked my sister to leave our shower over her outfit?" He earned over 3,900 upvotes and 2,500 comments for his post in 10 hours—though most of the comments were not on his side.

He says that he and his fiancée had a "couples shower"—which he describes in the comments as "like a bridal shower but co-ed because we don't live in 1950 and the men get to celebrate."

Though there had been some difficulty between the families, mainly due to his mom and her husband, the original poster (OP)'s family was invited. Though things were "a little tense," OP thought it was a good compromise as his fiancée didn't want them at her traditional bridal shower.

The "couples shower" was a casual cookout, u/Necessary-Coconut280 wrote. His sister wore a white crop top, jeans and sandals. All appeared to be fine, until his fiancée and her mother pulled him aside, explaining they felt his sister's outfit was "disrespectful" because she was wearing white, which was "bad form."

When they confronted the OP's sister, she thought they were "crazy" and that she could wear what she liked. The OP's future mother-in-law called his mom over, who sided with her daughter, and asked if the fiancée was "really this insecure." The fiancée countered that "it was about respect," and if u/Necessary-Coconut280's sister didn't know about the faux pas, "she could at least take it gracefully."

The fiancée then started crying and asking the OP's sister to leave, as she had been "rolling her eyes."

"She said she is sick of feeling ganged up on and she knows my mom secretly wants to ruin the wedding," u/Necessary-Coconut280 wrote.

The OP's mom objected, calling him and his fiancée "f**king stupid," and an argument broke out—leading to the OP's mom and sister leaving and his sister blocking him on social media.

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The internet is dragging a man who kicked his sister out of a "couples shower" for wearing white. iStock/Getty

While it's traditionally taboo to wear white to a wedding if one isn't the bride, Brides magazine says that it's also not recommended to wear white to a bridal shower, unless the bride specifically requests it.

"Same goes for the color black, it is a bit bold. All colors in between are fair game," Jonathan Vorasane, director of e-commerce at Fame and Partners told the magazine in 2021. He suggests wearing "something you would wear to an elevated weekend brunch."

However, it appears these rules are more informal, as the top-rated comment, from someone who says they're the "child of a wedding planner" and is still in the industry, said they were not aware of such a rule.

"The rules of etiquette say you can't wear white to the wedding. There is NO RULE that says you can't wear white to a couples shower, specially a BBQ during the hot summer. UNLESS the invitations sent out by said couple specify the dress code. Did your fiance specify the dress code for the shower in the invites? No? Then your fiance and your MIL are literally looking for any reason to stir up drama with your family," u/Fuzzy-Ad559 wrote, earning over 16,500 upvotes. "She cried cause your sister was rolling her eyes? Talk about drama. [You're the A**hole]. And your fiance and her mother are [a**holes] and utterly insecure and sensitive."

"Yeah this is a tip-of-the-iceberg thing, both in the sense of hoo boy OP good luck with this marriage, but also in the sense of — it could be [Everyone Sucks Here] since OP's mom and sister didn't deescalate, but this all has to be considered in the context of fiancee's and MIL's general personality, and the fact that they picked this fight and decided to bring conflict into their nice party for no good reason (or rather, because they get off on antagonizing OP's family)," u/yet_another_sock wrote. "There's only so long you can be expected to be conciliatory with unbelievably obnoxious people."

"A white crop top on a teenager. Do people know the groom so little that they think he's marrying his teen sister?" u/TotallyWonderWoman wrote.

"[On the Other Hand], there is a rule that says I should never ever wear white to a BBQ ... but that's more of a personal problem," u/islaDelSoul joked.

"[You're the A**hole] and your MIL, too. It was a casual BBQ event, not the wedding. You don't get to tell people they cannot wear white to a BBQ. It's not like she rolled up in the venue in a big puffy white dress," u/SnazzySusieQ wrote.

Newsweek reached out to u/Necessary-Coconut280 for comment.