Man Slammed for Calling Partner 'Bad Wife' for Drinking Alcohol

Commenters slammed a man for calling his partner a "bad wife" after she went out with friends and drank alcohol because he felt she wasn't supporting his sobriety.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/throwRAdrinkingwife, posted about the incident in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 10,000 upvotes and 4,000 comments. The post can be found here.

Alcohol and Sobriety

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) reported in 2020 that nearly half of all individuals 12 years and older—about 138 million—drank alcohol in the past month.

SAMHSA estimates nearly 14.5 million individuals 12 years and older had an alcohol use disorder. Yet, many Americans are still choosing to be sober.

Man slammed for yelling at wife
Commenters slammed the anonymous man for expecting his wife not to drink alcohol because he is sober. dima_sidelnikov/iStock

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIH), about 30 percent of adults do not consume alcohol.

Individuals who are seeking treatment for alcohol use disorder can opt into various programs and support groups. It is also important for individuals in recovery to keep to a structured schedule and surround themselves with people who are supportive of their treatment.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for yelling at my wife for drinking?" the man, 28, said he is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for almost a year.

The man said his father was an alcoholic as well and that he attends a weekly recovery group that is held by the Mormon church.

"I've been gaining an interest in their beliefs and have been considering conversion, but that's another conversation," the post read.

Recently, the OP's wife, 26, went out with friends and he said he saw a picture of her on Instagram posing with a glass of wine.

"I saw the post today, and I'm going to be honest, I freaked out," the post read. "She has been so helpful and supportive during my recovery, and I can't believe she would do this to me."

'Bad Wife'

The man said he "confronted" his wife as soon as he saw the post, but she said it wasn't an issue since she wasn't drinking around him.

"I told her that when we got married, we promised to support each other through everything and this wasn't being supportive and a direct violation of our vows," the post read.

His wife told him to get over himself and that's when he told her she was "bad wife" and wasn't "committed to us and our relationship."

He told his wife that if she were pregnant, he would avoid foods she couldn't eat to "be supportive," but she said she wouldn't expect him to do that so he shouldn't expect her to be sober. She told him he was being an a**hole and he left the house.

He said he contacted the group leader of his recovery group and hung out at his house while he "cooled down."

Redditor Reactions

More than 4,000 users commented on the post, many defending the man's wife and criticizing him for getting upset with her.

"YTA. You're the recovering alcoholic, not her," one user said, receiving nearly 50,000 upvotes. "She's allowed to drink when she's not with you."

"I am sure she will have a massive boozy party on the day she finally divorces his unappreciative abusive ass," another said.

"& he wants to be a Mormon...I'd run for the hills," another said.

"I was under the impression she had drunk in front of you, which was not the case," another said. "You are wrong. She did NOTHING to harm you or jeopardize your recovery."

"This is not about you. She didn't do this 'to you,' she did it for herself when you were safely far away," another user wrote. "It's good she supports you, spouses should support each other, but at the end of the day this is your affliction, and it's not reasonable for you to criticize HER drinking. She's not the one with a problem."

The user also suggested that the OP visit the "Ex Mormon" subreddit to see what an "appalling, abusive, nonsensical, destructive, scam mormonism is."

"She wasn't around you and was a glass of wine, I think the fact that you are thinking of becoming a Mormon and their belief of the role of wife's might be clouding your expectations from her," another commented.

Newsweek reached out to u/throwRAdrinkingwife for comment.

Other Viral Posts

In another viral post from Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum, a woman was praised for confronting a new member of her mom group about her drinking.

Another woman was criticized on Reddit for demanding her roommate dump out her alcohol because her current boyfriend is sober.

One man was praised online after criticizing his brother-in-law's comment about his recovery from drug addiction.