Mom Slammed for Anger at Mother-in-Law Giving Baby First Taste of Ice Cream

Whether it's their first steps or their first smile, parents have plenty of firsts to look forward to when a new baby comes along. But one mom found herself being scolded online after blaming her in-laws for causing her to miss a first many parents hadn't considered.

In a post shared to Mumsnet on Wednesday 6 April, user maloney123 shared her disappointment at finding out her daughter had been given ice cream for the first time without her permission. She explained that her in-laws had been babysitting her 9-month-old daughter one day a week, and during a day trip, they had taken her for a treat.

She wrote: "Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I'm hugely grateful to them for this.

"They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Baby eating ice cream close up
A Mumsnet user was annoyed that her mother-in-law had fed her baby ice cream without her permission. File photo shows a baby girl eating ice cream. Olga Evtushkova/iStock/Getty Images Plus

"Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I'm not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we're not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn't get to give her her first ice cream."

Maloney123 said it wasn't the fact that her in-laws had given her daughter something sugary, rather, that she felt she'd missed an important moment in her child's life.

She continued: "I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste."

It turns out, this isn't the first time the mom has disagreed with her in-laws on her daughter's food choices, after her mother-in-law fed her grand-daughter solid food very early in the weaning process.

"Previously she has also tried BLW (baby-led weaning) my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we've already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first," maloney123 said.

"I don't mind MIL giving 'normal' foods but I do feel like something like baby's first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don't think I'm going to say anything about it as I don't want to appear ungrateful so I guess I'm just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!"

"YABU" is an acronym used on Mumsnet for "you are being unreasonable."

Many Mumsnet users didn't understand the mom's concern.

MissMaple82 commented: "Whoever thought ice cream would be a special milestone."

Worriedatthistime agreed, saying: "Its only ice cream not one of the firsts i would be hugely bothered by."

RustyShackleford3 said: "If she's spending one whole day every week with her grandparents then there are going to be more things like this.

"It's inevitable. I'd try and relax about it all. You can't control everything that they do with her."

However, other users agreed that the poster's in-laws overstepped, with Holskey saying: "If I were looking after someone else's 9-month-old, I would definitely ask if it was okay before giving ice cream or similar."

Sarah13xx agreed: "It's not about the ice cream, it's about overstepping the mark on more than one occasion.

"It's this idea that they'll just do what they like when you're not there and disregard your rules."

Discodannie suggested the mom might be struggling with "PFB" syndrome—a Mumsnet acronym for "precious firstborn." The site conducted a study in 2009 on the topic, which claimed that mothers prefer their firstborn, sometimes demonstrating obsessive behavior.

Forums like Mumsnet and Reddit are filled with examples of overprotective parents obsessing about their children well into adulthood. One woman regularly calls her adult son in the middle of the night because she "needs him." Another mom claimed she was "depressed" that her married son was expected to do housework. One overstepping parent even tried to veto a mom-to-be's favorite baby name.

Some users warned the mom against ruining a good relationship with her in-laws over ice cream.

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia said: "You really want to risk a good relationship over an ice cream? YABU. It doesn't matter."

User ClinkeyMonkey suggested maloney123 put the situation into perspective by comparing it to other important milestones: "Some day you will look back at this and cringe.

"I had a couple of similar experiences and remember feeling most put out. I believe it's normal to blow things out of proportion with your first child."