Mom Praised for Nixing Vacation Over Daughter's Rudeness to Rich Relatives

A mom is earning praise for threatening to not let her daughter go on a family vacation overseas, unless she apologizes for the rude treatment of her wealthy stepsister and cousins.

In a post to the popular Reddit forum, r/AmITheA**hole, user u/throw29292away asked if she'd be in the wrong if she stood her ground and pulled herself and her daughter out of the planned trip over her daughter's mistreatment of family members.

She explains that she recently married a man, and both parties already had kids: "Anna", 15, from her side, and "Sofie", 16, from his. She also notes that her husband is much wealthier than she is, and so Sofie was raised "very differently" to Anna. Her husband's two sisters each have two daughters of a similar age, and were likewise raised in wealth.

"However, I have spent time with my [sister-in-laws] and their daughters and they aren't snobby like I'd expect them to be - [sister-in-laws] are welcoming and their daughters are very polite and well spoken. Sofie and her cousins are also close - they refer to each other as sisters, and they often go on vacations and spend time together," she wrote. "I was worried that Anna wouldn't fit in with Sofie and the rest, but they have welcomed Anna and invite her to go horse riding, ask her out swimming, theme parks, dinner, shopping, sleepovers etc."

But though she says Sofie and her cousins are welcoming, Anna always comes back mad, complaining that the other girls are spoiled, how they're "skinnier and prettier" and keep "flaunting their designer bags in her face."

When the original poster and Anna were invited to a pool party at one of her sister-in-law's homes, she says she snuck away to eavesdrop on the girls' conversation. When she did, she found that Anna was the aggressor, insulting them, while the other girls were trying to be nice.

"I was appalled, because I fully believe in girls support girls and I thought I had taught Anna that. And Anna was being rude to girls who had welcomed her into their life," she wrote.

After that, the poster collected her daughter and asked why she was being so mean. Anna said that she "hates how privileged" the lives of her stepsister and cousins had been. After scolding Anna for her rudeness, the original poster said that unless Anna apologizes, the two of them would be staying home instead of going on a trip with the sisters-in-law, their children and husbands.

"Whilst the other girls have travelled since they were young and go to different countries regularly, this was Anna's first international flight and she was excited," she wrote.

As Anna "threw a fit," the original poster started to doubt herself and asked the forum if she'd be wrong for following through with her threat.

aita family vacation jealousy rudeness wealth rich
A mom says that she's threatened to pull herself and her daughter out of an overseas family vacation unless her daughter apologizes to her stepsister and cousins for how rude she's been. iStock/Getty

In wealthy families, often the first and second generations who are rich will teach children about the importance of saving and not indulging in every whim, according to the City National Bank, a subsidiary of the Royal Bank of Canada.

"Most often, it's the third generation of wealth that's at risk of being spoiled. That's when grandma and grandpa have established trusts for the grandkids and start spoiling them," Paul DeLauro, wealth planning manager for City National Bank, said.

"I think it's best to say 'no' to your kids as often as possible," DeLauro added. "Then you can explain how something can be done. For example, if they want a car you can tell them to work for it and then maybe you'll match what they earn."

The vast majority of the comments backed the original poster, particularly because she would be staying home as well, not just Anna.

"She wasn't raised like them, but it sounds like they're trying to include her and your [sisters-in-law] are trying to bring her into their lives. She's [the a**hole] for acting the way she is towards them for what appears to be no reason," u/Detached09 wrote in the top-rated comment with over 13,600 upvotes.

"And honestly while I'm sure it doesn't seem like it to Anna because she's currently so blinded by her jealousy and hate, [the original poster] is asking for the literal bare minimum - simply apologise sincerely and she can go," u/pillowcrates wrote. "Hopefully she does, but agreed - if she doesn't, that's on her and maybe as she grows up she'll look back and be ashamed of it and learn"

"This is a key component here! But since Anna refuses to apologize (and therefore go on vacation), she must not be sorry. It would be a mistake to just let her go with no apologies given. You don't get to be a snot to people and then go on a luxury vacation with them...at least, not without a heartfelt apology first!" u/flooperdooper4 wrote.

"Not to mention that Anna's not exactly going to be an asset to any vacation if she's constantly snarking on the other girls. How long before it's 3 against 1, both on the trip or at home if she keeps it up?" Travelgrrl pointed out.

Newsweek reached out to u/throw29292away for comment.