'Not That Pretty': Teen Praised for Slamming Cousin Who Insulted Her Friend

A teen is being supported by one of Reddit's most controversial forums for calling out her cousin over a comment that made one of her friends upset.

The original poster (OP), u/besos_for_jongho earned over 8,900 upvotes and 600 comments for her post, "[Am I the A**hole] For Telling My Cousin She Isn't As Pretty As She Thinks She Is?" in the popular r/AmITheA**hole subreddit.

The 16-year-old girl explains that her cousin, 17, is "very blunt." Normally, it's not an issue, even when u/besos_for_jongho disagrees. But she would draw the line at her cousin's remarks on her friends.

"Whenever i would show her a picture of one of my friends she would call them ugly and my assumptions on how she thinks they act. I don't think any of my friends are ugly and the assumptions she makes are always wrong," u/besos_for_jongho wrote.

However, the day before she wrote her post, her cousin proved that she wasn't afraid to share her rude opinions to the faces of the OP's friends. After u/besos_for_jongho invited her to come along and hang out with her and her friends, her cousin upset the group.

"My cousin looks my friend dead in her eyes and says 'You're not that pretty. Now that i actually look at you'. That friend of mine is very insecure about her looks and i told my cousin this beforehand. My friend excused herself to the bathroom and 2 other girls followed," u/besos_for_jongho wrote.

She was enraged her cousin upset her friend, especially since the cousin had been warned about her friend's insecurities. She shouted at her cousin that she wasn't as pretty as she thinks she is, and her friend is much more attractive. This upset the cousin, with OP saying that when she walked away "she looked as if she wanted to cry."

Afterward, when u/besos_for_jongho returned home, her aunt and cousin were there demanding an apology. She didn't want to give one, considering her cousin started it—but now her entire family is upset and won't let her join family events until she apologizes to her cousin.

In a comment, she added that her family was aware of both sides of the story.

"I should add this in, my family heard all the sides of the story and say that family comes first bc we're blood, they say my friend overreacted, my aunt said insecurity is just a reason to cry or something like that. My sister wont go to family functions until im allowed to go back, i love her for that. I love her anyways cus shes my sister," u/besos_for_jongho wrote.

She told Newsweek that her cousin seems to be escalating things.

"So my cousin has tried to take my friend's boyfriend over the past few days. I don't think she's sorry. My aunt has tried to force me to apologize to my cousin, I will not apologize and I guess I'll just have to be excluded from family gatherings," u/besos_for_jongho said.

crying teen not pretty ugly friend reddit
A teen who slammed her cousin after she insulted one of her friends—who was already insecure about her looks—is being supported on Reddit, even if her family demands an apology. iStock/Getty

Sometimes people will say they have "no filter" to excuse rude and offensive comments delivered in the guise of "truth." Psychology Today lays out six different ways to respond to an insult—and it most recommends either ignoring the insult or just accepting it.

Anger, the magazine says, gives the insulter too much power, while returning the insult or using humor requires a quick wit. After all, no one wants to be like Seinfeld's George Costanza fumbling and telling someone that the Jerk Store is all out of them.

Still, when it's a clear insult with no reason, it can be difficult to hold one's tongue—and the Redditors backed the OP for not holding hers.

"[Not the A**hole]. Here's your apology, 'I'm sorry you use "brutal honesty" to just be brutal. I'm sorry I ever invited you to meet my friends and I'm sorry you made my friend cry in the bathroom. However, I'm not sorry you got a taste of the brutal side of honesty. Maybe now you'll consider what you say and who you say it to,'" u/coneyb11 wrote in the top-rated comment with 14,300 upvotes.

"'I'm sorry your mother failed you so badly that you think insulting other people to their faces is somehow an acceptable behaviour,'" u/SparkAxolotl offered.

"[Not the A**hole]," u/RoxasofsorrowXIII wrote. "Family is enabling that behavior, and honestly it's unacceptable. Your cousin isn't 'blunt', she's rude."

"So it's okay for her to be a complete b***h but no one is supposed to hurt her feelings. BS if she can dish it then she can take it. When you told them she made your friend cry was SHE asked to apologize?" u/moodyfish7777 wrote. "[Not the A**hole] and tell them if it is okay for her to make people cry then she should be okay with the favor being returned."

"[Not the A**hole] and it sounds like you just got out of annoying family nonsense. Wins all around," u/Stucky7418 wrote.

Update 6/8/2022, 4:00 p.m: This article has been updated to include comment from u/besos_for_jongho.