10
Loading video...
By Lucy Notarantonio
Senior Reporter
0
Share
Newsweek is a Trust Project member
See more of our trusted coverage when you search.Prefer Newsweek on Googleto see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
A post about a dad who admits to spoiling his daughter but not his step kids has sparked outrage on Reddit.
User Agreeable-Guard-9469, explains he has a 14-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and his wife has two sons, 16, and 13.
"I had a vasectomy after my daughter to make sure I wouldn't have other kids," he wrote.
Read More
‘My Daughter’s Ex Shot Her in the Face and Tried to Kill Our Grandson’11 min read
Woman Falls in Love for First Time With Man She Met on Craigslist6 min read
My Neighbors Are Harassing Me—What Should I Do?8 min read
...
Explaining his relationship with his child, he added: "I spoil my daughter however I can, this includes brand clothes, expensive schools, and best electronics and before anyone decides that my daughter is a brat I should say that she is an extremely well-behaved kid."
He points out his wife and her ex-partner are unable to do the same for their children. So now, his purchases have become problematic for the couple as his wife believes her children should be spoilt too.
"I can't afford it so I told her that's not my problem and they have 2 parents who should be spoiling them," he wrote.
Since sharing the post on September 27, the man has added an update, writing: "I can't treat kids that live under the same roof differently so I asked my wife to move out of my home for now. We will try counseling and we will see how that goes but if I have to choose between her and my daughter it's always going to be my daughter."
Newsweek reached out to psychologist Bayu Prihandito to ask if it's fair to treat children living in the same house differently, just because they are not biologically related
The founder of Life Architekture in Germany said: "From my perspective, the answer is clearly no, as it's generally not considered fair or even healthy for the family dynamic.
"Children, regardless of whether they are biologically related or stepchildren, always observe and internalize the treatment they receive in comparison to their siblings. When they perceive a disparity in treatment, it can lead to feelings of resentment, inadequacy, and division among siblings.
"In blended families, it's important to create an environment of inclusivity and respect to build strong and healthy relationships among all family members. This doesn't necessarily mean identical treatment, as each child is unique with individual needs, but the core principles of love and fairness should be consistent for all children in the household."
It seems like thousands of Reddit users agree. So far, the post has 5,100 votes and 3,800 comments.
The top comment, racking up 16,500 votes, said: "YTA for marrying someone with a child when you had zero intention of treating them as a full member of your family. It's fine not to want to be a stepparent, but then you shouldn't assume that role in the first place."
"Well OP did have a vasectomy after his daughter was born so I guess that means he's off the hook for caring about any more kids. Even if he's married to their mother & live in his house (sarcasm). I'm still trying to figure out how that information fits in to this story," said another.
Another said: "YTA. Look, if this is how you want to behave, that's your [prerogative]. But you have absolutely no business blending families with this attitude. You're setting the kids up to feel jealousy and resentment, and this isn't going to help the kids adjust to being in each others' lives."
Newsweek reached out to u/Agreeable-Guard-9469 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
View 0 Comments
Submit Correction
View Editorial & AI Guidelines