'Rude' Wedding Invitation Via Text Sparks Fury: 'Don't Think I'll Be Going'

A parent has vented their disdain over a "rude" wedding invitation from their cousin, which they received via text message.

The family member shared their frustration with Mumsnet, under username BatFink260, as they revealed the wording of the invite.

The bride-to-be wrote: "Hey BatFink, I'm getting married in two weeks' time.

"Obviously you're invited but I do understand with baby you may not want to come.

"The wedding will be at such and such church at such and such time, followed by dinner at 6pm."

File photo of a wedding invite.
File photo of a wedding invite. A parent has raged over the "rude invitation" they received from their cousin. Floral Works/Getty Images

BatFink260 reckoned it sounded as if they'd been invited as an afterthought, saying: "AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to think this wedding invite comes across as intentionally luke warm?

"From my cousin whom I always thought I had a good relationship with, if not a close one."

They confirmed they live in the same city, adding: "That was all. As I say we're not close but grew up together and see each other a few times a year.

"It doesn't seem like a genuine invitation to me at all. Thoughts?"

The post, on Thursday, amassed more than 150 responses, and can be read here, as they shared more information in the comments.

They revealed their child, who is 18-months-old, also hasn't been expressly invited.

BatFink260 continued: "Wedding has been planned at least a few months in advance, church was booked back in Jan, I know this as it was announced on social media. I'm not sure how many guests there will be.

"My siblings haven't been invited, they live hundreds of miles away, not sure if that was a factor. My parents live locally and we're invited before me, via telephone, by my aunt, as in my cousin's mum."

It seems a bit of an after thought. Who invites someone by text to their wedding two weeks before the event. Bizarre.
Pilates

They felt the invite was "distinctly lacking any warmth" saying it was "sad."

And they continued: "We have always been friendly and she actually lived with us until she was 2 due to her mum being very ill for a long time at the time."

Ultimately they said: "I don't think I'll be going though."

Numerous people weighed in on the wording, as Rococococo commented: "I read 'obviously you're invited' as 'obviously I'm obliged to invite you'. It sounds like she's hoping you take the hint and say no."

LittleBearPad thought: "You're on the reserve list."

"Sounds to me that you are an after thought. Who invites guests 2 weeks before a wedding?" 2pinkginsplease asked.

Pilates agreed, saying: "It seems a bit of an after thought. Who invites someone by text to their wedding two weeks before the event. Bizarre."

SalsaLove thought: "She was probably forced to invite you but it doesn't sound like she wants you there, or doesn't care if you're there. Sorry!"

While Harridan1981 thought: "Her parents have indicated it is rude not to invite her cousins."

Inviting people to your wedding last-minute isn't unheard of, but it should be approached carefully.

The Martha Stewart website advised first checking your venue capacity before extending invitations to anyone new.

But if there's someone you need to include at the last minute, it quoted chief eventeur Debi Lilly, owner of A Perfect Event, who noted: "In some cases, it's easy to add new guests to your wedding list, and in other cases, it's not."

Crucially Lilly advised sending the last-minute addition a formal invitation, to make them feel like a valued guest.

If it's very short notice, this can be followed up by an in-person or over-the-phone confirmation, she said.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.