'Selfish' Man Slammed for Coming Out as Gay During Sister's Wedding

A man was criticized in an internet thread after his sister claimed he came out as gay during her wedding.

The anonymous woman, known only as u/Any_Constant_8035, posted about the incident on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole where it received more than 11,500 upvotes and 980 comments, many from users calling her brother "selfish" and her parents "bigots."

In the post titled "AITA for throwing a "tantrum" after my brother came out at my wedding?" the woman, 27, explained that she is engaged to a woman named Polly and that her sexuality has affected her relationship with her parents since it took them time to "accept" it.

"I came out at age 12 and since then my brother, Olly(23M) has become my parents' golden child. It made my relationship with Olly a little salty," the post read.

Man came out at sister's wedding
Commenters in a popular internet forum criticized a woman's family after her brother decided to come out as gay at her wedding and her parents got angry. gorodenkoff/iStock

It is not uncommon for individuals with narcissistic tendencies to create one "golden child" leading to the other siblings feeling like the family scapegoat. This serves as a way to manipulate or displace blame.

She explained that this weekend was her wedding and that Olly and her parents attended. She said it was a "welcoming environment" and that there were a lot of LGBT people in attendance making it a night she always "dreamed of."

But during the reception, the woman said she heard a commotion at her parents' table. When she walked over, she noticed that Olly was coming out to their parents.

"Olly took advantage of the moment to come out (nothing new, I had doubted his sexuality since he was a child, but it wasn't up to me to expose it)," the post read. "My dad got mad when I wasn't surprised and accused me of hiding that kind of thing. In addition to making comments about being disgusted with the fact that his children are two f**gots."

"I told my parents: 'You can't for a single night swallow your fucking prejudice,'" the post read. "And for Olly: 'Of all times, you knowing that it took them both a decade to accept me back, can't you choose any other day? I don't care about you being gay, you have to be whoever you want to be, but WHY today?'"

She said almost everyone at the wedding was listening to the conversation and that her fiancée intervened before both her parents and Olly left.

Although she said it wasn't her best reaction, the woman said it felt that everything from her childhood came back to her and she felt upstaged by her brother and embarrassed by her parents.

According to Healthline, some long-term effects of growing up in a family that favors one child over the other include low self-esteem, holding resentment toward family members, and having a negative perception in adulthood.

"My parents aren't talking to me and I honestly don't feel like it. But I know my brother is saying that I was homophobic and destroyed his moment of coming out. AITA?"

Nearly 1,000 users commented on the post, with a majority defending the woman and calling her brother "selfish" for using her wedding as a place to come out to his family.

"This is giving me 'I'm going to propose at my sibling / friends wedding' vibes," one user commented. "Olly can be who he wants but this was not the time or place to come out, it just screams 'drama.' NTA."

"Your parents are bigots, and Olly picked a really bad time to come out," another user wrote. "It wasn't Olly's day. It was your day, and he tried to make it about him for some reason."

"Golden boy wanted the spotlight back on him where it belongs. Parents are obviously TA," another user wrote. "I'm sorry this was the family you got lumped with. Congratulations on the wedding."

"​​Everyone here is an a**hole except you," another user wrote. "Your brother should not have coopted your day. I hate to say it, but your parents really sounds awful."

"NTA I'm dying at him calling his gay sister 'homophobic' bc she wasn't happy he came out at her gay wedding," another user wrote.

But some users came to Olly's defense, saying he probably wasn't planning on coming out at the wedding but felt comfortable at the moment.

"I give Olly the benefit of the doubt as far as why he chose this time. He probably didn't plan it," one user mentioned. "He most likely got caught up in the very loving, LGBTQ-safe environment, saw his parents behaving even though they are openly homophobic, and thought this was the perfect time."

Newsweek reached out to u/Any_Constant_8035 for comment.