Internet Torn Over 'Judgemental and Toxic' WhatsApp Messages Sent to Sister

The internet is torn after a woman asked the Mumsnet community whether or not she was being "toxic" for telling her sister to start doing things to feel better.

In a post shared on Tuesday, HacketteofHacks, explained that her younger sister has always had a different lifestyle to hers, and now that they're in their early fifties, she's struggling financially.

The younger sister also suffers from a condition called "fatty liver disease," which just adds more worries to the mix.

two women arguing
A stock image shows two women arguing. The internet has sided with a woman who was called toxic by her sister for telling her to start doing something to feel better. Getty Images

The post, which has received over 104 comments in less than 24 hours, read: "I get a WhatsApp from my sister saying she's fed up [with] worrying about money and her health.

"I say 'oh for goodness sake, you are always coming back to this.' I tell her 'pick one thing and try and do something today that makes you feel better.'"

After that, she explains her sister started messaging her back, calling her "toxic" and "bad" and saying she's been unsupportive of her.

"My mother then ploughed in and told me I'm judgemental and toxic too," HacketteofHacks wrote.

According to the American Liver Foundation, nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) is the buildup of extra fat in liver cells that is not caused by alcohol.

It is normal for the liver to contain some fat, however, if it becomes more than 5 to 10 percent of the liver's weight, then it's called a fatty liver, also known as steatosis.

The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, says that NAFLD is usually a silent disease with few or no symptoms. Some health conditions like obesity, metabolic syndrome, and type 2 diabetes, make you more likely to develop the disease.

HacketteofHacks, who even thought of taking out a loan to help her sister get onto the property ladder, didn't agree with her sister calling her bad, but asked the community if that was the case.

Most people thought the poster was right to point her sister in the right direction, while others thought her whole family was a nightmare.

SleeplessInEngland commented: "Your sister and mom both sound like f***ing nightmares." And Doorsdoyle said: "What does she expect you to do about her weight problem? Stop engaging so much and just make soothing noises when she's moaning. She's being ridiculous."

Another user, 11Hawkins, suggested: "Whatever you do DO NOT GET A LOAN OUT FOR HER. You'll never get it back."

And steviewiththecankles said: "Doesn't sound like she wants your honest opinion, but just wants someone to listen. If you don't want conflict, do soothing as suggested. I also wouldn't take out a loan for her unless you have a much better relationship, money can make things a lot worse."

While other users thought she may have been too harsh. Tandora said: "Your message was unhelpful and unkind, of course it upset her."

And CosmopolitanPlease added: "Putting aside everything else you mentioned: your sister was having a moan and wanted a sympathetic ear and to blow off steam. You gave her exasperation and advice. Unrequested advice and suggestions can be very irritating and patronizing. Next time just say 'that must be hard' or 'I'm sorry to hear you're struggling.'"

VodselForDinner added: "She sounds needy. You sound judgemental. You sound like squabbling teenagers, not grown women in their 50s."

Another user, MzHz commented: "It wasn't unhelpful or unkind, it just wasn't more of the There, there, platitudes that the sister wanted to hear. She's her own worst enemy and didn't like it being pointed out."

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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