Wife Who Won't Pay For Hubby's Trip With Pal That Mocked Infertility Backed

A woman refusing to pay for her husband's trip with his friend is being supported online.

The original poster (OP), u/Centric-Wave3779, shared her story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, earning over 10,200 upvotes and 1,600 comments in nine hours for her post, "AITA for refusing to give my husband money to go on the trip that his friend excluded me from?"

She says that her husband, 33, has a friend, "Austin." He and Austin met in college, and are very close—however, he and u/Centric-Wave3779 are not friendly. One of the biggest sticking points in their relationship is how Austin frequently brings up her infertility.

"It hurts because I've always wanted children and for him to make it a constant topic of conversation hurts. My husband thinks it's just me being hypersensitive," she wrote.

Last month, however, things came to a head when Austin cracked one of his regular jokes, telling her to "hurry up and give HIM a nephew/niece." She yelled at him over his insensitive comment, and he said that she "ruined" his dinner. In retaliation, Austin disinvited OP from the trip that they were going to take together.

"I said I was perfectly OKAY with that, in fact I felt so much relief I no longer had to be around him anymore," u/Centric-Wave3779 wrote. "My husband for the first time was okay with me being away from Austin but said he still wants to go on that trip."

She didn't say anything until her husband told her he wanted her to pay for him to take the trip. The OP refused, and her husband started fighting with her, arguing that she was punishing him for Austin's misbehavior. She told him he could look elsewhere for funding—but since her husband was fired this May, he's not been able to find any other source for the money.

"He insisted and I refused. He started calling me spiteful and unfair to refuse to pay for his travel expenses as an attempt tj get him to stay home with me. He said his relationship with Austin is bigger than just few comments Austin made and bigger than my exaggerated sensitivity and insecurity," u/Centric-Wave3779 wrote. "Now he's sulking until I cave in and give him the money."

infertility mocking trip vacation abuse reddit aita
A woman is being backed online for refusing to pay for her husband's trip with his friend who frequently mocks her infertility. iStock/Getty

Infertility is a sensitive subject, especially for couples who want to have children but are unable to. Though most people are well-meaning, Penn Medicine lays out five things never to tell someone battling infertility. "Maybe it's not meant to be," is the top worst comment, but Penn Medicine also argues against asking about the cause or whose "fault" it is, asking about the price or whether they've considered adoption.

It's also gauche to posit in-vitro fertilization as a solution, according to Very Well Family, as that process can be incredibly expensive—costing as much as $72,000 per successful birth, given that many cycles of IVF are often needed to conceive. Planned Parenthood estimates the cost per round of IVF to be as much as $15,000. Not just that, but the recent Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade could also result in a ban of IVF in 30 states.

Reddit took u/Centric-Wave3779's side, and questioned why her husband had allowed Austin's comments to continue so long.

"[Not the A**hole]. I'd consider leaving my partner over crap like that. I'm sure you have other stories here. PS do not pay a dime for him...." u/MadForestSynesthesia wrote in the top-rated comment with 17,400 upvotes.

"Right? Like I'm sure OP's husband sees her pain every time she gets her period. I'm sure he sees her pain every time another person they know gets pregnant, while she is still struggling. How could you sit there and watch your wife go through all that, knowing how much she longs to be a mother, only to sit back and let your best friend continuously make s**tty ass comments about her deepest pain?! What the f**k??? He's just as bad as the friend, if not worse honestly. Your wife is supposed to be your partner, your #1. How could someone stand by and let their friend cause their wife more agony like that?! Ugh. Nope," u/riskytisk wrote.

"It is obvious that OP's husband is closer with Austin than with OP and values the bromance more than the romance," u/Academic_Snow_7680 wrote. "It is obvious that Austin resents OP being around since her only role was supposed to be a breeder, now she's just competition for hubby's affections."

"Infertility is not something to joke about and the fact that he brings it up frequently is wildly disrespectful! Your husband is trying to minimalize your very real feelings and taking his friends side. If his relationship with austin is so clearly more important than the one he has with you my advice is to let Austin have him and move on from your life. You don't deserve to be treated like s**t yet still be expected to pay for everything," u/stfuylah14 wrote.

Newsweek reached out to u/Centric-Wave3779 for comment.