Woman Backed for Not Throwing Stepsister a Baby Shower: 'Not My Problem'

Commenters backed a woman who refused to throw her stepsister a baby shower because it was not her issue that no one threw one for her.

The anonymous woman, known as u/LifeDiscount1952, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 14,000 upvotes and 1,700 comments.

In the post titled "AITA for saying my stepsisters lack of support network for her baby is not my problem" the woman, 24, said she and her stepsister are pregnant and are due around the same time.

Typically, a baby shower is thrown about one to two months before the baby's due date and tends to be thrown by family members or friends.

Woman refuses to throw sister baby shower
A woman was backed online after refusing to throw her stepsister a baby shower when no one else would. "Honestly if your mom and stepdad are so concerned THEY should throw her own shower," one commenter said. Rawpixel/iStock

As Brittany Risher Englert wrote for WhatToExpect.com, baby showers often include baby-themed activities and guests are expected to bring a gift for either baby or the parent-to-be.

While there is no rule book for baby showers, it is often considered "bad etiquette" for the parent-to-be to throw themselves a shower because it might come off that they just want gifts rather than to celebrate the upcoming birth.

In the post, the woman said she doesn't like her stepsister, 24, and that she only spends time with her during family gatherings.

She explained that both her dad died when she was younger and her stepsister's mom died, but that her stepsister told her she doesn't have the right to grieve her father the way she grieves her mom.

"She's also the kind of person who expects you to do what she wants and would never reciprocate," the post read. "So I dislike her. I don't consider her my family and I still call myself an only child.

The woman said her cousin and two of her close friends organized her baby shower but that no one offered to throw a shower for her stepsister.

"Weeks ago my mom asked me to let her share mine. I said no," the post read. "My stepsister then asked me to throw her one. I said no yet again. We're not close enough for me to invite her so I'm not going to spend my money throwing her one."

Her mother said she "has nobody" to throw her a shower and that she should do more because she is her sister.

"My reply was her lack of support network and baby shower are not my problem," the post read.

She also said it's time for everyone to ask why she doesn't have a support system aside from her husband.

"My mom, her husband and even my stepsister are outraged that I would be so 'callous' about her," the post read. "They say I should care about her and my 'niece.' AITA?"

More than 1,700 users commented on the post, many supporting OP's decision not to organize a shower for her stepsister.

"I agree with your statement of asking why no one wants to throw her a shower," one user commented. "Honestly if your mom and stepdad are so concerned THEY should throw her own shower."

"NTA. By the sounds of it, no one wants to throw her a baby shower because nobody likes her and I don't see how that's your problem either," another user wrote.

"You are pregnant and having a baby. Why would you be the one to throw her a shower? Why doesn't you[r] mom do it or rope someone else?" one user asked.

The OP replied that she thought it is because they both are worried they wouldn't have anyone to invite to the shower.

"Her lack of support system is not your problem, and it doesn't sound like she's done anything her whole life to be supportive or even sisterly to you," one user commented.

Newsweek reached out to u/LifeDiscount1952 for comment.

In April, a woman was called "self-absorbed" after posting about her three-day baby shower extravaganza.

Another woman was told to divorce her husband after he sold all of their baby shower gifts to fund his trip away with his friends.

Another man was labeled as "disgraceful" after he said he planned to take the money gifted to him and his wife during their baby shower.