'Block': Woman Refusing To See Date Again Over 'Rude' Remark Praised Online

Everyone knows that first impressions are important. Everyone, that is, except one man, whose behavior on a first date was described in a recent Mumsnet post that has gone viral.

In an AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable) post with over 130 responses, user cjhealy begins: "I went on a date (wish I hadn't now!) with a man."

The user goes on to explain that it was actually a second date and that it was "going well." The pair were walking towards her car when the trouble started.

A woman is on a bad date.
A woman on a date abruptly realizes it was a mistake! AntonioGuillem/Getty

"As we were walking, a woman was walking towards us; so I moved across the pavement a bit to let her pass. She looked dazed and distraught and was holding a flower," cjhealy wrote. "Within a second of her passing us; this man I was with said (far too loudly) 'GOD, WHAT'S UP WITH HERRRR?! CHEER UP!'"

User cjhealy said that he wasn't directing that comment at the distraught woman passing by, but she was "clearly still within earshot."

"I thought it was so rude," the Mumsnet user wrote. "I told him she might have suffered a bereavement/just attended a funeral/received bad news etc... you just don't know. I don't see why he felt the need to comment/somewhat shout it out loud. For what purpose?!"

The user went on to write that this interaction has left her with no desire to see the man again. She noted that she's always hated men who say things like "Cheer up, love!" or "Smile! It might never happen!" and she was still fuming when she got home. The man subsequently sent her a text saying: "You still in a strop? I was only joking darling!" but cjhealy said she hasn't responded and intends not to.

At the end of the post she asked: "AIBU to feel this way?"

The answer may well be no, according to a study published in 2020 in the Journal of Research in Personality. With the aim of assessing the accuracy of first impressions in settings such as first dates, researchers looked at data collected on 372 participants who took part in a speed-dating event.

They found that "first dates were able to accurately perceive each other's unique personality profiles." Although that level of accuracy was worse than in lower-stakes "platonic getting-acquainted interactions," researchers concluded that the study "provides evidence that it is possible to form an accurate impression on a first date."

The findings of the study support the comments of the other Mumsnet users who responded to cjhealy's post. The vast majority of the comments were firm that she is not being unreasonable and should simply ditch the guy.

Mumteedum wrote: "Trust your judgement... And block."

"YANBU. He sounds like a bit of a pig," GooglyEyeballs wrote. "Cut your losses, send him a text saying thanks but no thanks and move on."

Another user, MWNA, sent a Maya Angelou quotation: "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

Other users noted that, in some ways, it was a blessing to discover the man's true sensibilities so early on.

"Ew. Luckily you dodged this bullet early!" wrote Mumoblue.

"Good job you found this out two dates in, and not two MONTHS in," user Mamanyt.

Woman rejects man.
A woman expresses a clear message to a date. DMEPhotography/Getty