Woman Expecting Sister To Attend Baby Shower After Miscarriage Slammed

A mom-to-be has been slammed by internet users for being too absorbed in her own baby shower to support her sister after she tragically lost her husband and unborn child.

Reddit users were quick to show their disapproval after user u/babyshowerphotos posted on the AITA [Am I The A******?] forum, asking "AITA for posting pictures of my baby shower on social media?".

She begins the post by saying that she and her younger sister were both pregnant at the same time, but "unfortunately, my sister and [brother-in-law] were in a tragic accident a few months ago, and she lost the baby."

"My baby shower was last week. It was just at my house with a few friends and relatives. I did tell my sister I was having the baby shower and she's welcome to attend if she wishes, but I completely understand if she can't. She said thanks and didn't end up coming."

Woman Slammed For Inconsiderate Attitude
Stock image of women at a baby shower, and (inset) a woman looking sad. Reddit users have slammed a woman for expecting her sister to attend her baby shower despite grieving the loss of her husband and unborn child. Getty Images/jacoblund / fizkes

A study published in the Miscarriage journal in June 2022 noted that an estimated 26 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. The research highlighted that patients who experience pregnancy loss should get "close coordination" with a care team to ensure they are monitored thoroughly. The authors said the patients need to be "handled with extreme compassion and sensitivity."

However, compassion wasn't something this Reddit user seemed to offer her sister. Following the baby shower, she posted some pictures of the celebration on social media. One image was captioned "Growing our beautiful family," which upset her sister.

The Reddit post continues, "My sister sent me a text about the photos and caption. I replied I'm sorry but I told her before I was having the baby shower. She said having it is fine but got upset at me for flaunting it."

Following the siblings' exchange, the poster's mom told her she "should be more understanding" of what her sister was going through. While initially, some Reddit commenters thought the poster's actions weren't too bad, they reconsidered after seeing a later comment from the original poster.

Responding to a reply on her post, u/babyshowerphotos wrote: "My BIL died in the accident, so she didn't want to see weddings. We also had issues over BIL's funeral which she went off at me for."

Instead of attending her brother-in-law's funeral, the poster went to a dress fitting for her wedding which took place in November. Internet users were aghast that the poster would leave these details out, which changes the dynamic of what her sister was going through drastically.

Licensed clinical counselor Amanda Hohag from Minneapolis has helped clients dealing with grief and stress for 12 years, offering advice on how friends and family can support those experiencing difficult situations.

Hohag told Newsweek: "Grief is deeply personal and will look different for everyone. It is okay to not know what to do or say, but it is not okay to not do or say anything. When a family member experiences such a significant loss, one of the most important ways to support them is to continue to acknowledge the loss."

Hohag explained that in this scenario, the Reddit poster might find it difficult to deal with her sister's grief, but she can offer support in other ways, such as picking up groceries or doing housework for her when she's not able.

"It is okay to feel awkward, but she must practice tolerating that discomfort so she can best support her sister. We can do the best when we're able to recognize that it is possible to both feel uncomfortable and care for others at the same time," she said.

Since the post was shared on February 4, it has outraged many people and received over 2,000 comments, with users expressing their disgust towards the poster's lack of remorse.

One user commented: "You might also want to add that your BIL died in the accident and you skipped his funeral. So of course, she's going through a lot of grief, she lost two people at once. It's probably best for her to delete you from Facebook or you delete her."

Another person explained how the follow-up comments changed their view of the situation also: "I was NTA [not the a******] until I read [original poster] skipped the funeral for a dress fitting! OP is insensitive and self-absorbed."

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