Internet commenters were quick to call out one woman who refuses to move in with her boyfriend unless she is exempt from paying rent.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/notmyhouseaita (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she is considering moving into her boyfriend's home but detailed her concerns with making any type of payments towards a house that may never become hers.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for refusing to pay rent towards my [boyfriend's] mortgage if I move in with him?" the post has received more than 5,000 upvotes and 4,500 comments in the last seven hours.
"We've talked about moving in together and that's the next logical step in our relationship," OP began. "But I have some hang-ups related to moving into a house that I don't have any stake in."
Continuing to explain that she will not make any payments that go towards her boyfriend's mortgage, the original poster said she will gladly help with other household expenses, and will only agree to pay rent under the condition that she gets it all back should the couple break up.
"His argument is that I would be essentially living with him for free and it would cause an uneven dynamic," OP wrote. "Which, I kind of get, but at the same time he's the one benefiting from paying down the mortgage and gaining equity, not me."
"I told him the only way I would pay money for 'rent' is if he signs a contract...stating that any money I pay towards his mortgage will be paid back to me...in the event that we break up," OP continued. "He is refusing to sign...because, in his words, I could break up with him for no reason then take him to court for thousands of dollars."
"This whole situation is driving a wedge between us...but I just don't feel right contributing money to his mortgage," OP added. "I can tell [his] patience on this is wearing thin and he's upset with me for digging my heels in."
For most couples, moving in together is monumental and a major step towards building a harmonious life.
But things get complicated when one partner owns the home the couple plans to live in.
While couples living in shared apartments often split rent evenly or proportionally based on income, arrangements in which one partner moves in with the other often spark suspicions about mortgage payments and who actually benefits from whom.
"The fundamental challenge in moving into a partner's owned home is the power imbalance it creates," Bloomberg asserts. "The home isn't 'ours,' it's 'theirs'...[and] the renting partner isn't likely to have the same rights as a tenant simply by moving in."
Not having the same rights as the homeowning partner, however, rarely excuses the non-homeowning partner from paying rent, despite the potential of paying a chunk of their mortgage and getting nothing in return.
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors echoed this sentiment and questioned the difference between paying rent in general, and paying rent to a spouse for the home both partners are living in.
"You clearly don't have any problem paying your landlord's mortgage and you have no stake in that," Redditor u/salmonberrycreek wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 25,000 upvotes. "How is this any different?
"You live there, you can help pay for the expenses," they added. "[You're the a**hole]."
Redditor u/Kezia_Griffin, whose comment has received more than 8,000 votes, offered a similar response.
"If you were moving in to an apartment together would you refuse to pay rent?" they wrote. "I don't know if it makes you an a**hole, but he's definitely right and you're definitely wrong."
"Would you ask your landlord for the money back you paid when you move out? Or ask your landlord if he put your name on his house because you paid rent for a couple of years?" Redditor u/StatistikSchwein chimed in, receiving nearly 5,500 upvotes. "If no: why would you expect your boyfriend to do so?"
Newsweek reached out to u/notmyhouseaita for comment.
