Woman Starting Her Own Business Instead of Bankrolling Sister's IVF Praised

A woman using her own money to set up her dream bakery business, rather than bankroll her sister's IVF, has been praised online.

The woman shared the delicate situation to Reddit's Am I The A**hole forum, under username u/Imsofrikentired34, explaining her 29-year-old sister has been battling fertility issues for the past five years.

The 34-year-old revealed some of her sibling's previous failed pregnancies were so "high risk," she had to quit her job.

File photo of money and IVF.
File photo of money and IVF. A woman has been praised for investing in her onw business rather than bankrolling her sister's IVF. Inna Dodor / Pineapple Studio/Getty Images

She wrote: "Since I'm not married and don't plan to have children, my parents are desperately looking to have a grandchild and so is doing everything they can to support my sister.

"So, to help them financially my parents along with one of my paternal aunts set up a small fund to support the IVF procedures."

IVF stands for in-vitro fertilization, and involves harvesting eggs, fertilizing them outside the body, then implanting fertilized eggs into the womb.

Initially there was a group of 25 people contributing financially, but that dwindled over the years to around seven. But she gave around $7,000 a year to her sibling, amounting to around $30,000 in total.

As a result, she said: "Since then it has been nothing but pressure to donate more from my side. I have stood my ground and said no and everyone keeps guilt tripping me.

"My sister keeps taking loans after loans and I don't know but the anger and stress of it all is being projected onto me."

The woman, who works in tech in a managerial position, decided to stop giving money, and instead invest her cash in her dream business.

"After years of feeling used for money and being a doormat I got enough and made my stand. I instead decided to start and invest in a small baking side hustle with my friend which I kept hushed for long till we publicized our social media account," she said.

All hell broke loose when her sister learned of her decision, as she continued: "My sister found out and made a scene to my parents saying I was being cruel and greedy with my money when literally all this while I was the one contributing the most out of any of them.

"This baking side hustle had been a dream of mine since young and never mind the fact that they don't want to support me because my sister's IVF issues overshadows everything but they keep belittling my passion and efforts.

"Sis says that 'baking aspirations can be halted and continued' but she only has limited time left...lmao.. Wtf."

She said no matter what happens she's "sticking to my baking business," but asked the internet if she was being unreasonable over not helping fund her sister's IVF anymore.

The post, which can be read here, has amassed nearly 7,000 comments and upvotes since being posted on Tuesday, as people backed the woman's refusal to spend any more money on IVF.

Kimputer7 wrote: "NTA, you've been so generous already. IVF could be an endless well, there's always adoption on the table. It's just part of life."

After years of feeling used for money and being a doormat I got enough and made my stand."
Sister

Ok-peachh pointed out: "Oh I'm sure they'll be asking OP for an egg donation or to be a surrogate next."

Ecjg2010 thought: "Obviously IVF isn't working. How long does she plan on spending everyone else's money?"

SuccumbedToReddit commented: "Honestly after being treated like crap like this I'd simply stop ALL contributions and focus on your own dreams for once. Hers aren't your (continued) responsibility."

Finartemis asked: "Info: how do they plan to afford the baby that I'm sure everyone here wishes for them to conceive? Having a baby is not cheap, will you have to provide for it too? For the next 20-something years?"

"Don't give her anymore; tell your family that they are taking advantage of you and that you will no longer contribute to that fund," _reditor said.

While Tayloren52 added: "Adoption is supposed to be for the child. She wants a child for herself."

In response to the post blowing up, the woman revealed as a result of all her efforts her sister now had ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, "a potentially serious complication of fertility treatment," according to the Royal College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists (RCOG). Symptoms range from mild swelling thrombosis, acute thirst, pain and vomiting.

While in follow-up comments she added: "I do care for my sister a lot and again I don't mind donating I just wish it would be a smaller amount and they won't pressure me to raising the bar...

"I understand her frustration, years of failed pregnancies might change you I get that but you are right I can't keep donating huge chunks of money everything she ask."

The chart below, provided by Statista, reveals why some Americans don't want kids.

Infographic: Why Americans Don't Want Kids | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista

IVF is pricey, with website ConsiderIVF.com breaking down each state's average, which ranges from $5,000 in New Jersey to $14,000 in Minnesota for one cycle.

It's worth noting additional expenses, such as medications, plus variable insurance cover can see that figure rise.

The website stated: "‍The average couple will need 2.7 rounds of IVF to have a successful pregnancy. The average cost of IVF is nationwide $12,000 per cycle, but IVF cost breakdown varies based on a number of factors.

"Depending on whether you need medications like gonadotropins, which can cost up to $3,000 per cycle. The average cost of these medications is typically $3,500-$7,000. Some insurance policies cover the cost of IVF medication."

Newsweek reached out to u/Imsofrikentired34 for comment.

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