In a now-viral post, a woman said her fiancé removed all the vegan food options from their wedding menu "behind [her] back."
Posting in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum under the username u/SarahJake2022, the vegan woman said her "hardcore" meat-eating fiancé felt the alternative options would "offend" his guests. The post has amassed over 14,000 upvotes and thousands of comments from Redditors encouraging the woman to cancel the wedding.
Wedding Meal Etiquette
Speaking to Martha Stewart Weddings, etiquette columnist Elise Mac Adam said it's possible for a vegan bride or groom to curate a wedding menu that'll satisfy their dietary restrictions and their guests' appetites.
"The trick is to be true to your beliefs without making guests feel deprived," the magazine advised. "For example, rather than serving seitan, tofu, or other unfamiliar foods, consider a non-meat pasta" or offer both vegan and non-vegan entree options.
"Your wedding is not the time to try to convert people to your way of living," Mac Adam reminded. "There is usually some sort of middle ground."
'Not Real Food'
Redditor u/SarahJake2022 prefaced her post by saying that she and her family are vegans for a myriad of reasons including a "history of health issues." Her fiancé's family, on the other hand, are "hardcore meat eaters."
With this in mind, u/SarahJake2022 said she wanted their wedding menu to include several meat options, as well as "four to five" vegan options. However, her fiancé and future mother-in-law didn't like this idea.
"My fiancé and his mom objected saying it was a waste of money over food that 'isn't real food.' They also argued that this would be offensive for 'their' guests and suggested my vegan options just be 'the good ol' salads and appetizers," u/SarahJake2022 wrote.
"I said no because one, it's me and my family who's paying. And two, I want to make my guests feel welcome,'" she continued.
Redditor u/SarahJake2022 added the vegan options to the menu, despite her fiancé's feelings on the matter. In retaliation, he "went behind [her] back" and removed them.
When u/SarahJake202 found out, she said she "flipped out" on her fiancé. He blamed his mother at first, but later said he was forced to do what he did because u/SarahJake202 "refused to accommodate [his] family."
"[T]here were PLENTY of meat options why can't I get four to five vegan options? When I'm paying for it?" u/SarahJake2022 asked. "My family said it was fine and they'll figure it out and told me to let it go but I refused. AITA for putting my foot down on this?"
Redditors React
Redditors said the groom's actions were disrespectful and strongly encouraged u/SarahJake2022 not to go through with the marriage.
"NTA [not the a**hole]. But I do think this is a foreshadowing of your marriage. He goes behind your back and does not respect your choices or the money you spent. Having both meat and vegan options at the wedding is the definition of compromise yet he is refusing to meet you halfway on this," u/FastBeach2322 said.
"NTA—all he had to do was compromise by having some vegan options and meat options. Everyone wins. But no. He couldn't even do that. Are you sure you want to marry a man who doesn't respect your views and morals?" u/Ginge-24 asked.
Redditor u/artichokesue789 added: "I mean this sincerely—reconsider marrying him. It's not about the food. It's about the secrecy and manipulation, the disrespect for your feelings and the disregard for YOUR money."
Newsweek reached out to u/SarahJake2022 for comment.
Other Viral Wedding Posts
On Wednesday, a video of one bride's hilarious wedding day prank on her groom went viral on TikTok. A video of one bride embracing a penguin during a special meet-and-greet went viral on Tuesday.
Also on Tuesday, Redditors threw their support behind a bridesmaid for refusing to change her dress during the reception.
