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By Robert Read
Life & Trends Reporter
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A man has been urged to leave his girlfriend of five years after opening up online about a financial situation that various users have since warned is a massive "red flag" on her part.
The 36-year-old man and original poster (OP), user Electrical_Income497, explained on Reddit that his 34-year-old girlfriend needed a car after moving to his city two years ago.
'Financially stable'
Despite being "financially stable," she still asked the OP for help buying one, he noted.
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So, wanting to support his significant other, the OP put down $1,500 for the down payment, according to his post. Plus he evidently paid $400 a month toward her $525 car payment for two years.
But this year, the OP shared, his girlfriend "fully" took over the car payment—though the way she has treated him since doing so prompted him to turn to the internet for answers.
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"She has decided that I can't drive it at all anymore—not even when she's away for 1-2 weeks at a time for work," the OP wrote in his post on Feb. 2.
"Her reasoning? 'I'm paying for it now, so it's mine.' I brought up that if the roles were reversed, I would still acknowledge her past contributions and allow her to use it occasionally.
"But she dismisses that and says she's just setting, 'Financial boundaries'."
'Bigger issue'
The OP's post has accumulated 6,600 upvotes and 3,300 responses from Redditors.
In it, he added that he and his girlfriend also bought a house together last year.
However, it's only in her name, even though they evenly split the mortgage. Plus, the OP recalled how it rubbed him the "wrong way" when she exclaimed "this is my moment" to celebrate the purchase, as he was "equally contributing to the payments."
With that in mind, the OP feels as though his current relationship drama isn't just about the car, but the, "Bigger issue of financial fairness and control."
"She was fine accepting financial help when she needed it, but now that she's secure, she's acting like my contributions never happened," the OP wrote in his discussion-launching post.
"Am I [wrong] for thinking I should still have some access to a car I helped pay for? Or is she being selfish by rewriting history and making financial decisions that only benefit her?"
To many users, it was the latter—and the OP should "run."
'You are being used'
One of the various users who encouraged the OP to end things replied: "She's getting everything in her name—and you'll have nothing but regrets when she dumps you.
"Run away, cut your losses."
A second similarly commented: "RUN! You are being used..."
A third advised the same: "I'd say cut your losses. It's not worth having [this] person in your life anymore, [in my opinion].
"'This is my moment' was a pretty sh**** thing to say when y'all bought the house together. That was the first red flag.
"'I'm setting financial boundaries' was the second red flag."
Elsewhere in the discussion, an individual wrote, "This is the biggest red flag behavior I've read in a long time," while another person remarked: "Sounds like she's using you.
"Mortgage is in her name and it's 'her moment?' Cool, break up with her selfish a**."
Some users weren't exactly sympathetic to the OP, including one who wrote: "You did this to yourself."
Meanwhile, on the advice front, another user simply said: "You need to talk to a lawyer."
'Financially abusive'
According to Experian, having, "Solid financial footing and honest communication", is crucial for couples.
Some common financial red flags that Experian urged readers to look out for in their romantic partner include an unwillingness to discuss money, uncontrolled credit card debt and your other half being "financially controlling, or to a greater extreme, financially abusive."
In another financial-related relationship conflict to hit the platform lately, Newsweek covered how the internet agreed with a Gen Z homeowner who refused to put their boyfriend on their mortgage.
'I wasn't crazy'
In a direct message to Newsweek on Wednesday, the OP said he was "shocked" by how much attention his post received and that he believes his situation resonated with many people who have been in unfair financial dynamics in relationships.
"The overwhelming support and validation I received really helped me realize that I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I did," the OP told Newsweek.
"A lot of people pointed out that this was a form of financial abuse, and that really made me step back and see the bigger picture."
The OP said he will be "fully moved out" by the end of the month and that since the breakup, he has stopped paying rent, which she was still apparently trying to charge him.
"She wasn't happy about it, but the reality is that I never had ownership of the house, so I don't owe her anything," the OP added.
He has also consulted a lawyer, he said.
'Protecting myself'
"For a long time, I thought I had to just keep working harder and sacrificing more to make the relationship work," the OP told Newsweek.
"Now I see that it wasn't about money—it was about fairness. And when someone doesn't care about fairness in a relationship, it's not a relationship worth staying in.
"Moving forward, I'm focusing on rebuilding financially and protecting myself in future relationships."
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