Mom Giving 18-Year-Old Deadline to Move Out Splits Opinion: 'Selfish'

A mom has split opinions online after sharing her plans to tell her 18-year-old daughter that she has six months to decide to move out.

The anonymous mom, using the handle Myturnatlast, took to the popular forum Mumsnet to gain views on her situation, explaining that she's been a single mom for the last 10 years. The pair are "incredibly close" she wrote, but added that she hopes to move in with her partner soon "so things are going to have to change."

"His place is big enough for her to have her own room if she wants to come with me but she's already said she wants to live on her own / with friends," the mom said.

She continued to explain that her daughter is on a low wage, leaving the mom "worried about how long it might take for her to find somewhere and don't want to put my happiness and financial well-being on hold indefinitely while she gets sorted."

"I'm thinking of giving her a 6 month deadline to find somewhere or come and live with us," she wrote. The mom concluded that her daughter gets on fine with her partner, but an older post revealed that they have been together for just five months—something that left a bitter taste in the mouth of some respondents.

Moving boxes
An online post from a mother about the possibility of giving her 18-year-old daughter a deadline to move out has split internet opinion. Getty Images

Although moving out at a later age is seemingly becoming more common, with young people citing finances and not settling down romantically early as a main source, views towards staying at home appear to have strengthened. According to 2016 data from the Pew Research Center, across Europe, almost 50 percent of 18-34-year-olds live with their parents.

Pew Research Center also found however that 64 percent of Americans think young adults should reach complete financial independence by the time they are 22 years old.

The idea of independence was one argued by some users responding to the mom's dilemma, citing a need for the mom to live her own life.

"Just tell her you're moving on x day & if she hasn't found anywhere she's happy with she's coming with you, it's not unreasonable it's reality, it wouldn't be any different if you were just moving to a different home irrespective of who it's with, her options are the same," suggested one user.

"If she has the option of safe, secure housing with you and DP then she can make the decision to move out at that time, or move with you until she gets her feet under her. It's not taking her security away like some seem to be suggesting, but we have our own lives to live too," added another.

Others however weren't so sold on the decision to give a deadline, especially focusing on the short length of time the mom has been with her partner.

"I don't think you're a monster, but honestly? There's no way I would prioritize living with any man, especially not a new boyfriend, over my teenager's well-being. I'd wait until she is settled in her young adult life before I start talking about putting myself first," wrote one user.

Another noted: "A five month relationship cannot possibly be classified as partner material, your poor daughter. On balance, the wording in your post does come across as resentful, how on earth is it relevant that you've been a single parent to your daughter for ten years as if she should acknowledge and be grateful for this? And thinking of your financial future with a man you barely know seems like madness."

"I think you're being selfish," summarized one user.

Despite an influx of responses, the mom is yet to update the popular post with her ultimate decision.

Other recent viral posts from Mumsnet include: a woman upset with her husband for booking her birthday party at a restaurant where the staff is intentionally rude to the customers and a woman who was critical of her friend for marrying an older man.