Mother-In-Law With 'Zero Boundaries' Berated for Snooping Through Property

A Redditor took to the popular "Am I The A**hole" forum to ask whether their tactic to prevent their mother-in-law from going through their belongings was wrong after they received backlash.

In the post, which received more than 14,000 votes, u/Sandra2012atp explained their mother-in-law was angry after she found labels on drawers, despite claiming she did not know where to look for certain items. Readers were unconvinced and took to the comments section to write that u/Sandra2012atp's mother-in-law was intentionally going through their belongings.

A piece published by Considerable discussed some behaviors found with "toxic" in-laws.

This may include in-laws who overshare, in-laws who tend to be oversensitive and in-laws who know no boundaries.

Mother In Law
A Redditor wrote that they had a disagreement with their family after they labeled their drawers when they found their mother-in-law going through them. Their mother-in-law claimed she did not know where to look for specific items. Maria Symchych-Navrotska/iStock

The article stated that while the in-law who tends to push boundaries might appear to be enthusiastic, they are anxious to "get what they want."

It recommended acknowledging their enthusiasm before being direct with what is needed.

Redditor u/Sandra2012atp wrote that they typically get along with their mother-in-law, but noticed that she goes through their drawers in their bedroom to find something she needs, like a charger.

They continued and wrote that they find it "invasive" and "embarrassing," especially if she opens a drawer containing personal items.

They noted that their mother-in-law has complained about what she found when going through their drawers.

"We've gone back and forth on this and when I stated that she was wrong for even looking at personal stuff she just said she got confused and didn't know what drawer had the item she looked for," u/Sandra2012atp wrote.

The Redditor said their husband suggested they bring her mother-in-law what she needs, but u/Sandra2012atp said she does not ask for help.

"So I decided to label my drawers...meaning I put a sign on every drawer to eliminate dear MIL's confusion," they wrote.

When the mother-in-law looked for something in their room after the signs were in place, u/Sandra2012atp said she became angry.

"She looked offended and said that she was [neither] a small child nor stupid to be treated like this," the post stated.

Redditor u/Sandra2012atp's mother-in-law left angrily, and their brother-in-law called and "berated" them and their husband. Their husband became frustrated and said they "caused this mess," and urged them to apologize.

However, commenters wrote that u/Sandra2012atp's mother-in-law became angry because she could no longer go through their belongings.

"She feigned confusion to excuse her snooping," a comment read. "You believed and accommodated her. She's mad you believed her lies and took her excuse away."

"So, this woman has zero boundaries and rummages through your personal items on the regular," a commenter wrote. "Then gets upset when she sees something that should actually be there."

The commenter concluded by writing that u/Sandra2012atp did nothing wrong, but the family "is sick."

Some proposed that the Redditor should take it a step further by leaving more explicit items in their drawers for their mother-in-law to find.

One wrote that u/Sandra2012atp's husband needed to set firm boundaries.

"If he doesn't see a problem with his mom invading your privacy and refuses to put her in her place this problem won't go away," they commented.

Newsweek reached out to u/Sandra2012atp for comment.

Another woman was supported for her method of keeping her mother-in-law out of her bedroom by the use of a "sex sign."

A father who asked his daughter to give up her bedroom for her new baby brother was criticized by Reddit users.

Commenters were split over a woman who said she planned to skip her friend's wedding because she "doesn't do social gatherings."