Partner Urged to Find Out Secret That Brother, Husband Are Keeping

A partner has been urged online to find out the secret that their husband and brother are keeping from them.

Published on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a partner under the anonymous username u/stripes900 shared their story in order to get the opinions of the "AITA" community. The popular post has over 5,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

The original poster began their post by explaining that their husband and brother used to be very close. Unfortunately, they had a big fight recently, which lead to them not speaking to one another. However, they refuse to tell the OP the topic of the fight.

Husband, Brother keeping secret from partner
Above, two men share a secret. Published to Reddit's r/AmItheA**hole forum, a partner is urged to find out the secret that their husband and brother are keeping. sharpshutter/iStock / Getty Images Plus

The OP said, "I'm sick of it because it feels like they've dragged me into the middle of this as they refuse to be around each other but neither one of them is willing to tell me what's really going on. I also barely see my brother now and I miss him so I invited him and his wife for dinner like we used to do."

"My brother only agreed because I told him my husband wouldn't be home and I told my husband we were having guests but never specified who. Dinner was tense and at first my husband tried to kick my brother out but I wouldn't let him. After they left my husband and I had a huge fight and now he's barely speaking to me. My brother isn't angry at me but told me if my husband says anything to me I should tell him and he'd deal with him," they concluded.

Newsweek has reached out to u/stripes900 for comment.

Types of secrets that can hurt a marriage

While people have the right to their own privacy, there are some things that shouldn't be kept secret in a relationship. According to, here are some topics that could hurt a marriage:

  • Having an affair
  • Career problems
  • Keeping addictions hidden
  • Legal problems
  • Not paying bills
  • Not revealing an illness
  • Seeing certain family and friends secretly
  • Lending money or lying about how you spend money

Newsweek has published several articles regarding relationships, including a man who was backed for telling his friend he's not the "victim" after a breakup, a partner who was slammed after "forbidding" their husband to go on a road trip with his siblings and a woman who was urged to leave her relationship because she paid for every meal.

Redditor reactions

U/Delicious_Archer_273 asked, receiving the top comment of over 16,000 upvotes,
"[Everyone sucks here] So who caught who cheating and they are keeping the secret???"

"Honestly I'd be more worried about the secret then trying to force them back together. Your husband won't tell you? Lol some weird s**t definitely went down," u/secrethottie_997 pointed out.

"[Everyone sucks here]. But I have a feeling that you're not going to like that secret .... And it involves you," u/TheVue221 said.

"[Everyone sucks here]. I'd be demanding to know what the deal is. This is affecting the family. Personally I'd begin thinking your husband or brother had done something to betray you or your SIL. This is affecting your relationship with both of them," u/Important-Lawyer-350 wrote.

U/pplgah commented, "[You're the a**hole] and you probably just lost any chance of your husband telling you anything because you betrayed his trust. If I had to guess your brother is cheating on his wife."