'So Petty': Maid of Honor Dragged for Dropping Out of Best Friend's Wedding

Members of a popular internet forum were quick to call out one woman who said she dropped out of her best friend's wedding party because of her "heartbroken" older brother.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/OstrichRepulsive3029 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said her best friend of 12 years is getting married in three weeks and that she was slated to serve as maid of honor, until her brother revealed his hard feelings about a previous romantic encounter with the bride-to-be.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for dropping out of my [maid of honor] role just a few weeks before the wedding," the post has received nearly 6,000 votes and 1,000 comments in the last day.

Writing that her brother and best friend had a "short fling" years ago, the original poster was assured that the relationship was never serious, and that the two remained friendly with each other, even after moving on to new partners.

But recently, the original poster said her brother's recollection of his split from her best friend transformed dramatically.

"He says he's always been bitter about how she dropped him to get with her current fiancé," she wrote. "When he admitted his feelings to her she basically told him that they're nothing more than just a fling."

"My brother told me she was very mean to him and told him he's not her type in the slightest, and that he's not the kind of man she'd be in a committed relationship with," she continued. "He felt she used him as a placeholder."

Following her brother's bombshell revelation, the original poster said she was left with one choice: drop out of the wedding and vacate her role as maid of honor.

"She's my best friend, but he's my brother," she wrote. "I can't imagine siding with a person who hurt my brother like that...so I dropped out."

"I told my [best friend] the exact reason why and she was furious," she continued. "She said my brother is stuck [in] the past and the only reason she didn't tell me was because she didn't want to put me in an awkward position."

"She said my brother and I are ridiculous for holding something that happened [six] years ago against her and how I'm basically an a**hole for dropping out over something so petty and minor," the original poster added. "I don't think it was minor at all. She hurt my brother. I could care less about her perfect day."

Maid of honor drop out
Redditors were outraged after one woman explained why she quit being her best friend's maid of honor just weeks before her wedding. princigalli/iStock / Getty Images Plus

For many brides, the made of honor plays a pivotal role from engagement day through their wedding and any other festivities that may come with it.

In the last two years, wedding-related outlets Brides magazine and WeddingWire have published guides for newly-appointed maids of honor, complete with advice for how best to fulfill the lofty and often-sought-after role.

Those same outlets, however, also have published guides for how to gracefully bow out of being maid of honor.

While WeddingWire lists pregnancy, finances, family emergencies and major schedule conflicts as acceptable reasons to drop out of a wedding party, Brides has provided numerous recommendations for exactly how the withdrawal should be carried out.

From having good reason for dropping out, to returning the dress in a timely manner to offering extra wedding help in other ways, there are proper channels of communication and action to ensure a smooth transition to a new maid of honor.

However, Brides remains adamant that, if a maid of honor is going to drop out of a wedding party, the decision should be made far in advance—something the original poster failed to do.

Throughout the viral post's comment section, Redditors called out OP for ditching her best friend just weeks before her wedding date and scoffed at her reasoning for the unexpected departure.

"[You're the a**hole] and so is your brother," Redditor u/doggirlie wrote in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 22,000 votes.

"You're ending your 12-year relationship with your best friend solely because she didn't have the same feelings for your brother as he had for her [six] years ago?" they continued. "He could have told you this at any time, but [did] right before the wedding so she has to sweat about it?"

"Dropping out doesn't make you a good sister. It does make you a bad friend," they added.

Redditor u/DifficultBrilliant86, whose response has received more than 6,500 votes, echoed that sentiment.

"[You're the a**hole]," they commented. "Your friend was just being honest, nothing she said was mean."

"Your brother needs to get over it and you are a bad friend," they added.

In a separate comment, which has received nearly 7,000 votes, Redditor u/19louie82 turned their attention to the original poster's brother and speculated that his behavior could be indicative of why his previous relationship didn't work out.

"This timing is hugely manipulative of your brother and I'm not surprised she dumped him if that's a true reflection of his character," they wrote. "It sounds to me like she was upfront and honest with him about the exact nature of their relationship, as she was with you, and he didn't like that boundary."

"Dropping out now, for this reason, is horrible and mean," they added.

Newsweek reached out to u/OstrichRepulsive3029 for comment.