A wife has received widespread support online for not splitting her inheritance with her husband, after he refused to share his own windfall.
The mom shared her situation to Reddit's popular Am I The A**hole thread, using the handle Zealousideal_Fly4786. She explained that she and her husband had triplets—three sons born two years after the couple married.
Unfortunately the boys had some "health issues" requiring specialist care, forcing the family to make "sacrifices" such as cutting back on "hobbies, trips, cable."
"We went bare basics just to cover the kids' medical expenses," the mom wrote.
She explained: "Because of that my husband wanted me to quit my job and take care of our boys and our home. Since it was cheaper than paying for specialized child care. I agreed."
The family lived in a building that formed a row of townhouses and the landlord offered her a job cleaning one of the other units after a tenant moved out.
She said: "I asked my husband about it. He said that he didn't care but he didn't want it to 'interfere' with my responsibilities at home. We also agreed the money would be mine since it's a second job. We did this for 3 yrs. It grew into where I cleaned other places for my landlord. I just put the money into savings."
When her husband's father died in 2019, he received a bequest of about $20,000. When she asked him about the inheritance, he "got angry," she wrote.
He "said that it [was] his money and any future inheritance would not be part of our family budget. My husband ended up going on several trips with his brothers with the money."
The woman claimed she was OK with his vacations, but "hurt" at how he had reacted when she asked him about the funds.
"All of the money he received was spent on trips with his siblings. None of it went to our family. He burned through it fast. He was gone a lot leaving me alone for days," she wrote.
When the family was first hit with hefty medical bills, the woman said her husband "struggled with cutting back so much. I struggled worrying about how to come up with all the co-pays for our kids' medical expenses. I wanted to have the money in savings for my peace of mind. Even though I could have had 'fun' with the money I earned I didn't. I wanted that safety net."
According to a Statista poll conducted in 2017, most people would pay off loans or debts if they inherited $100,000. Other popular plans for the windfall were buying a house, saving for retirement and saving for "unexpected expenses."
Zealousideal_Fly4786's situation changed in 2021, when her grandfather died. Because her parents "make good money" and she is the only grandchild, she inherited his entire estate, which was worth "much more" than what her other half had received.
She explained: "I just transferred the money. Rented out the farmland around his home. I did decide to keep his home since it is close to my parents' home. I live 4 hrs away from them. I didn't talk to my husband about it since it was "my inheritance.'"
The disagreement between the couple began when their landlord announced that he was planning on selling the building that contained their apartment.
Realizing this would adversely affect the family, she decided to buy the entire building. She said: "Things worked out to where I was able to use my inheritance combined with what I had saved from working to buy the building.
"My husband came to me and told me he wants me to deposit part of the rental income from the other town homes into our family account. Allowing more spending money for fun.
"I reminded him of our agreements. Along with [that] we no longer have a rent payment.
"We ended up in a fight. He is saying I am being the [a**hole] for not sharing the money coming in."
She later shared more details about the amounts involved, saying: "Our rent before I bought the property was 2k each month. The surrounding town homes are closer to $2,500-2,800."
Her post, shared on Monday, has amassed more than 10,000 upvotes and comments, with most Redditors saying she was right not to share, just as her husband had done.
Redrosekeeper posted: "Honestly that is exceptionally awful of him. You deserve a break and time off too. What an incredibly selfish person he is. NTA [not the a**hole] at all."
Kawaeri thought: "I bet he didn't realize just how much OP got as an inheritance until she bought the townhouses."
SocpolRaineyxI wrote: "NTA and Jesus christ. Take your boys and go. This man has no respect for you whatsoever. Please. You'll be better off without him."
Stoic_prince commented: "Agreed. What's even the point of being married to such a leech? He literally brings nothing to the table except double standards and toxic behaviours. Get rid."
After reading the comments, the woman shared an update, revealing that she is going on a solo trip to evaluate the situation.
She claimed her husband didn't want a divorce and had agreed to sign a postnuptial agreement.
The woman added: "I also decided once he signs the prenuptial on my inheritance. Then I will ask him about putting my work income in our family budget.
"He can help when he is off work with the house and kids as a possible compromise. Allowing him to have some spending money and giving me a break."
Although the woman didn't specify where she was based, in the U.S. inheritance is usually excluded from marital assets that are divided in a divorce.
According to the website FindLaw: "Generally, inheritances are not subject to equitable distribution because inheritances are not considered marital property. Instead, inheritances are treated as separate property belonging to the person who received the inheritance."
Newsweek has reached out to Zealousideal_Fly4786 for comment.
