Woman Refusing To Return Dead Fiancé's Engagement Ring Backed Online

A woman mourning the recent loss of her fiancé is refusing to return her engagement ring to his family despite the fact they insist it represents "an ancient family heirloom."

Everyone reacts differently to bereavement with the symptoms of grief ranging from the physical to the emotional. The American Academy of Family Physicians states that during this period of mourning it's crucial to take time to process feelings while also attending to physical needs and maintaining some kind of routine.

One thing the academy recommends those processing grief avoid is making any major decisions. "It takes time to adjust to a loss and get back to a normal state of mind," the academy explains. "Making an impulsive decision as you're grieving could add more stress at an already difficult time."

At face value, a grieving fiancé taking to social media to detail how she told her deceased partner's family she would be taking the engagement ring he gave her to her grave might sound impulsive and ill-advised.

However, for many on Reddit, the woman's response was fully warranted. Writing in a post that has earned over 13,000 upvotes on the "Am The A******" subreddit, the recently bereaved explained how she recently lost her fiancé, Jake, after six years together.

"His death was unexpected and I'm still mourning," she wrote, later elaborating that he died in an accident at work. According to Jake's fiancée, during his funeral, his brother Jim approached her and asked when she was "going to return the engagement ring to the family."

Though she acknowledges the ring is an "ancient family heirloom" what makes it "priceless" to her is the story behind it. "Jake got the ring from his grandma a month after we started dating, he claimed he knew back then he would marry me some day and wanted to get his grandma's blessings on the ring," she wrote. "When he proposed his grandma had already passed away so having the blessings put on the ring made it extra special for the both of us."

Despite this personal significance, Jim appeared eager to take it from her because his own fiancée, Stacy, "fell in love with it" a while ago. Furious at Jim for being "incredibly disrespectful" by asking her about the ring at his brother's funeral, she initially brushed his request aside.

After the funeral, she received a message from Stacy telling her "it would mean the world to her" if she gave her the ring and urged her to try and think of it as a "bittersweet ending" to her relationship.

"She said the ring was blessed so one of the grandsons can marry the love of his life, and since Jim is the only living grandson left he has a claim to it," the woman wrote. Matters then escalated when Jake and Jim's mom contacted her and told her that while she understood her pain, the ring was a "family heirloom" and she should "suck it up and give it to Jim."

At this point, the woman admitted she "snapped" and told Jake's mom she would take the ring to her "grave if need be." She said: "It's a beautiful symbol of Jake's love and I won't let Jim and Stacy sully that memory of him."

Though the ring "legally" belongs to her, she said she has faced harassment on social media from Jake's family who has branded her a "bad person" who "stole the family heirloom." Her own brother has even gotten involved, accusing her of being "selfish for keeping the ring as a keepsake." The grieving woman so far has remained unmoved, taking to Reddit to gauge the reaction to her actions.

But while her would-be in-laws appeared vehemently opposed to her actions, most people on Reddit felt she was right to keep the ring. One user, 666Sweet666, rejected the notion that it belonged in the family. "You were family enough to have grandmother's blessing. You were family enough to your partner," they said. "The ring is yours. The memory is yours."

Amazonpixie81, meanwhile, branded the brother's decision to approach her at the funeral "horrifically inappropriate and cold hearted" noting "they'd been together for 6 years and the owner of the ring gave it FOR HER."

Remarkable_Top_5401 commented: "I understand wanting a family heirloom back but they didn't help with the funeral and were all being extremely insensitive towards her losing someone she loves." Stardust591 added: "His family can't demand you give a gift back to them just because it's an heirloom. The ring is yours to do with as you wish and they can all just deal with that fact."

Elsewhere, Sillyroombie accused the family of using the claim it is an heirloom to "manipulate" the mourning fiancée. "Tacky, and disgusting," they wrote. "I can't possibly imagine asking someone who lost their husband for the engagement ring back."

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment.

A woman holding an engagement.
Stock image of a woman holding an engagement ring. A woman has been backed online after refusing to return an engagement ring to the family of her recently deceased fiancé. stefanamer/Getty