Woman Slammed For Saying Husband's Contact Photo of Her Invades Privacy

A married woman who vented online about one of her husband's innocuous phone pictures did not receive any consolation.

The woman, who posted on Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum with the throwaway account "NU65567," received quite a bit of backlash out of the 4,000-plus comments after she said she argued with her husband due to his using her picture as the contact photo on his phone.

She said that last week she purchased a new phone for him with more features compared to what he was used to, even going so far as to show him how to use some "he's never seen before."

But learning the features came back to haunt him. She said she woke up for work Tuesday and couldn't find her phone, so he handed her his phone to call it.

"I took his phone, opened the call log and searched for my contact number," she said. "I saw that he had a picture of me (my face) for my contact photo. I was mad. I woke him up again to ask why he did it. He said it was normal and he did it with his family and friends even. I told him I didn't give him permission and he should've asked if I was comfortable with having my picture there."

Phone Argument
A woman received blowback online after posting that she started an argument with her husband, all because he had a picture of her set as a phone contact image. iStock/Getty Images

The woman said the couple lives "far from home" and doesn't know anyone in the area, so she was worried that the photo of her could be found if her husband lost her phone.

When her husband replied that she has pictures of him on her phone, she said she keeps them "in a hidden app" so no one sees them and so she can simultaneously protect "his privacy." She added that she allegedly "got his permission for every single picture" she ever took of him before saving them to her phone.

"I demanded he remove it but he fought back and said I'm being bossy and controlling," she continued. "I told him my face was in there, he again said it wasn't a huge deal and that I should chill. I snapped and said I wasn't going to let him convince me to be okay with my privacy being violated."

After the husband said the contact photo wasn't a "nude," more arguing reportedly ensued and led to the picture being deleted entirely. She said her husband "kept pouting and venting about how I keep trying to dictate how he lives and what he does," going as far as to say "it's become too much."

Redditors did not take their criticism of the woman lightly, including one who said the poster chose "a weird hill to die on." When many opened the thread, they assumed the woman was upset because the photo was either of her nude or scantily clad—or from an angle that isn't attractive.

"Unless you go through society with a veil on, people are going to see your face, so the privacy argument seems far-fetched," one user said. "What is the problem? Your husband is right. You are bossy and controlling."

"This is so strange," another user said. "I hope nobody tells her that every time she leaves the house, someone may see her."

Most found the woman's views extreme considering that photos of individuals are often everywhere online, with or without consent, in today's world of social media and internet connectivity.

Avast reported in 2020 that Google collects data about how you use its devices, apps, and services.

"This ranges from your browsing behavior, Gmail and YouTube activity, location history, Google searches, online purchases, and more," they said. "Basically, anything that's connected to Google is likely used to collect data on your activity and preferences."

But Google isn't the only "villain" in this scenario, Avast notes, saying that "nearly every company you interact with online uses web tracking technology to mine data about your online habits and preferences to personalize your experiences and the content you see."

Social media giants like Facebook have received plenty of criticism over the years, as Forbes noted, for leaking user data, being involved in privacy scandals, and being hacked multiple times.

A conflict between the platform and Apple occurred for months when an Apple update provided users with the ability to opt into tracking across other apps and websites.

It's reportedly not just social media platforms tracking users, but also the government.

The ACLU announced a lawsuit in 2020, referencing a Wall Street Journal article that "sensitive location data isn't just for sale to commercial entities, but is also being purchased by U.S. government agencies," including by U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement to locate and arrest immigrants. One company, Venntel, allegedly was selling access to a massive database to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, U.S. Customs and Border Protection, and ICE.

Newsweek reached out to the poster for comment.