'Ignorant': Woman Advised To Leave Boyfriend After Abortion Comments

Should a political opinion ever be a dealbreaker in a relationship? Well, the answer is certainly 'yes' when the topic in question is abortion, according to the responses to a recent viral post in Reddit's TwoXChromosomes forum.

The post from u/Rousandscrabmles, titled "Turns out my bf is anti choice (prolife)," has been upvoted more than 21,000 times and attracted over 4,300 comments.

The OP (original poster) begins by explaining that she (a 34-year-old female) recently had a "difficult conversation" with her boyfriend (who is 37-years-old).

"First of all, he had no idea any of the Supreme Court stuff was going on," OP wrote, referring to the possible overturning of Roe V Wade, which would allow states to ban abortion.

"When I tried my best to explain it, he said abortion should be illegal."

A couple on the verge of breakup.
A young couple sit on a sofa following an argument. fizkes/fizkes/Getty

OP then notes that she "asked a few prodding questions," including asking how he felt about cases in which a woman had been raped or required an abortion for medical reasons.

Her boyfriend replied: "Well obviously that would be okay. But if you do it just because you don't want a kid then it's wrong. Like if you aborted my baby for no reason I'd have to kill you, ya know?" according to the OP.

While u/Rousandscrabmles goes on to clarify that this "wasn't like a threat," she notes that she was shocked at his response and continued to ask more questions.

"I asked what about if a guy get a girl pregnant then abandons her?" she wrote, adding that her boyfriend's response was, "He didn't force her to have sex with him then she has to have the baby."

OP finally posited that, as it's her body it should be her choice, to which the boyfriend replied, "once you're pregnant it's not just your body anymore."

"I guess I'm just processing it all. I've always known we had different views on things. We're probably opposite sides of the political spectrum and I've been able to overlook it for the most part because he's a good guy, but I'm not sure I can get over this one," OP wrote.

"I've had two abortions that he wouldn't agree with (before I met him) and I didn't have the heart to tell him about it. I don't think he would've listened anyway."

U/Rousandscrabmles ends the post by noting that she's been with the guy for 13 years, but is now unsure if she should stay with him. Fellow Redditors near-unanimously declared that she should leave the man as soon as possible.

U/rose_colored_boy commented: "I had a similar convo with a guy friend last night and your last few sentences hit the nail on the head. We had tentative plans again soon and the willful ignorance and lack of empathy makes me not want to be around him."

Likewise, u/SinsOfKnowing responded with, "He straight up said it's her fault if she gets pregnant because she chose to have sex with him. This is well beyond just a matter of opinions, I don't see how OP can come back from that and stay in the relationship."

And u/No-Seaworthiness345 chimed in with, "Pretty clear that he sees having a child as fair punishment for ...?... having sex? This is beyond ignorant. It's mean."

The conversation between u/Rousandscrabmles and her boyfriend is one that many couples are likely having right now, after documents leaked to Politico showed that the Supreme Court is seemingly prepared to overturn Roe v. Wade.

The document in question was a 98-page first draft majority opinion written by Justice Samuel Alito, which shows there is enough support among the Supreme Court to strike down the 50-year-old landmark decision on abortion rights.

Roe V Wade was a 1973 ruling protecting the rights of women to seek an abortion "without undue restrictive interference from the government," guaranteed under the Fourteenth Amendment.

The court's decision to possibly overturn that ruling is not expected for several months.

By that point, it seems likely that u/No-Seaworthiness345 will no longer be with her boyfriend, if she takes any advice from fellow Redditors.

In a strongly worded response, u/Wubbalubbadubbitydo wrote, "You shouldn't be having sex with him again. Ever. This man thinks the punishment for an abortion is a justified killing. How could you realistically be intimate with this man and trust him?"

U/SirChubbycheeks felt similarly, writing, "Ghosting seems pretty reasonable in these circumstances. Even if they've been together for a long time."

In a comment that begins "More red flags than 1917 Moscow," u/ResplendentShade gave OP some sobering advice: "I roll my eyes at a lot of of the 'LEAVE THEM' relationship advice replies on reddit, but in this case if I were in OP's position I would start thinking about how to carefully remove myself from that relationship."