Man Urged To Confront Wife He Caught Cheating With 'Husband of Her Friend'

A heartbroken husband has been urged to confront his wife after discovering her infidelity in terrible circumstances.

Adultery represents one of the chief contributors to divorce in the U.S. with researchers at the University of Denver finding that infidelity was cited as a reason in 59.6 percent of separation cases studied.

For many, it is simply an unforgivable act, leaving behind wounds that never heal, but others can still find a way back from the brink.

In order to reach a resolution, the problem needs to be addressed. However, that can often be easier said than done, and for one "devastated" husband of nearly 20 years, at the moment not a lot is being said.

A man looking lost alongside a woman.
Stock image of a man sat away from a woman. A husband has taken to social media to detail his latest dilemma. stefanamer/Getty

Writing in a post shared to Mumsnet under the handle mike1970s, the distraught man said: "My wife is the love of my life. I mean I just adore her."

He said he thought they were "so happy" together and enjoy a healthy "meaningful" relationship together with their teenage son. "I can't imagine ever being with anyone but her, she is so kind and funny, clever, strong-willed and gentle," he added. "I am in love with her."

All of which made his discovery that bit more shocking.

It all started last week when he went to meet a work client in a restaurant on the other side of town. He was initially on his phone, waiting for the client when he "heard her voice" and looked up to see something that left his world "shattered."

"My wife had walked in, with the husband of her friend," he wrote. "They had their hands all over each other, it was like watching a pair of animals in heat."

The man said he felt like he "lost consciousness temporarily" at the sight of his wife with another man and double checked to make sure. His worst fears were soon confirmed. "There they were holding hands across the table," he said.

Left feeling "so shocked and sick," he stumbled out of the restaurant and into a taxi heading home. Once there he said he broke down, unable to contemplate what comes next.

"I don't know what to do now, I don't want my marriage to end, but how can I continue like this?" he wrote. "I can honestly say I trusted my wife 100 percent. When she said she had to work late, I didn't question it. When she said she was meeting friends, I believed her. Why wouldn't I?"

To make matters worse, he has continued to live alongside her as if nothing has happened but feels "sick" knowing the truth. Having reached the conclusion that it must be a "physical thing" on account of some health issues that left him suffering with "some erectile dysfunction" the man said he is at a loss as to what comes next.

"I just feel so ashamed and humiliated. I don't know what to do now, do I just let it run its course and act oblivious?" he asked. The answer from social media was a resounding "no."

"You need to tell her you know, you can't live like that," Catfunk wrote with MyDogLucy in agreement, writing: "I don't think you should act oblivious and hope it blows over, that will end up destroying you."

Another Mumsnet user, alpenguin, urged the husband to stand up for himself. "You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and dignity and love," they said.

Strawberriesaregreat felt the man simply had to confront her, regardless of the outcome. "Yes, you will risk her leaving but it depends what you are able to live with and only you can know," they warned.

Cait73, meanwhile, wondered whether, even if they did reconcile, he could ever forgive her again. "I couldn't ever trust a partner again. I know I'd be constantly worrying and checking," they said.

Elsewhere, BellyButton88 slammed the man's wife for her selfish actions given the circumstances. "You do not go there with your friend's other halves," they said. "It says a lot about how awful she is as a person. Selfish to do this to her own family, especially if you share a child together."