'Nobody Owes Her Motherhood': Woman Trying To Adopt Sisters' Kids Bashed

A woman who wants to be a mother so badly she's asked two of her sisters to let her adopt their children is being criticized on a popular Reddit forum.

One of her sisters, u/NoAct2571, shared her story to the r/AmITheA**hole subreddit—often stylized as "AITA"—and earned over 9,300 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

In the post, titled "AITA for telling my sister nobody owes her motherhood?", u/NoAct2571 says her sister, 40, always wanted to be a mother, but she's unable to have children. She's tried multiple ways to achieve this goal, including marrying a widower with young children 16 years ago. However, her stepchildren didn't accept her as their mother, causing her to complain constantly to her family.

Three years ago, u/NoAct2571's sister tried a different tack. Another of their sisters had a third child, and was worried about paying for the new kid because her husband had recently changed jobs and the new gig paid much less. Her sister jumped on the opportunity and "harassed her for months about letting her adopt the baby, going as far as to talk to our [brother-in-law] about it," urging him to convince his wife to give up the baby. The request was refused, and her constant asking caused a strain on her relationship with the rest of the family.

In November, the original poster (OP) had her second child and then had a procedure so she could no longer get pregnant.

"Both my pregnancies have been awful on my body, and I didn't want to risk putting myself through that again," u/NoAct2571 wrote.

She and her sister had a conversation last week, where she said OP was "selfish" to have the procedure done without offering to be her sister's surrogate, adding that "I could have given her my youngest to adopt at the very least." OP said that she wanted her kids and could never give one up.

"She said her dreams of motherhood were important. I told her nobody owed her motherhood though and the way she was carrying on was wrong, and concerning, and she had brushed aside our concerns before, but she needed to get some help because she can't keep demanding others give her kids," u/NoAct2571 wrote.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, her sister was upset and argued that her family should try to help her fulfill her dreams—and since her stepchildren "s**t on her," she "doesn't get any of the joy the rest of us have." The OP says her family has urged her sister to speak to a therapist multiple times, and that it's putting stress on her marriage.

sister adopt baby infertile barren reddit aita
A woman is being dragged on Reddit for repeatedly asking her sisters to give her one of their children. Nancy Honey/Getty

For a couple facing infertility, there are a number of potential options, according to americanadoptions.com. In some cases, medical science can intervene and make it possible to have a child with fertility drugs; procedures like in-vitro fertilization or assisted hatching; or donation of whatever's needed—be it sperm, egg cells or a fertilized embryo.

Other options include hiring a surrogate—who is not necessarily related—or adoption. There are 117,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption, according to AdoptUSKids.com.

However, Reddit agrees: repeatedly asking one's sisters to give up one of their children is probably not the best way to go about doing things.

"I would NEVER EVER 'offer' another, living human being to someone who feels entitled to them like your sister does," u/DancinginHyrule wrote in the top-rated comment with 12,200 upvotes. "She needs serious help and ypu guys need to keep an eye on her around the kids. I get tjat it is tragic for her not having kids, but coping like this is abuse pn the rest of you. [Not the A**hole]"

"I get that being a parent, especially a mother in this case. is important to some people and to not fulfill that dream is something to genuinely grieve," u/Ladyharpie wrote. "However, after being raised by people who felt that they were 'owed children' it caused a lot of generational trauma for us. We weren't seen as people as much as toys to show off and as with most toys, we continued to lose value over time when we were no longer new."

"[Not the A**hole]. It's weird as f**k she just wants to take anyone's kids," u/LPOLED wrote.

"[Not the A**hole] - she needs some serious therapy. I feel like I'm reading the intro to a criminal minds episode," u/Swegh_ added, invoking the popular CBS crime program.

Newsweek reached out to u/NoAct2571 for comment.